If you were to see me in middle school or elementary school, you would think we are two completely different people. During the “younger days”, I found myself in these difficult spots where I had to constantly be around people or I wouldn’t feel well. I tended to surround myself with people constantly while trying my best to be the social butterfly everyone saw me as. I had no care in the world, doing whatever I just felt like doing. There were many moments I cherished in middle school, like how my friends and I would go to the bathroom to take silly selfies together, or how we had so much freedom since our classroom was a literal trailer. The amount of time it took for the teachers to get to our class was a perfect amount of time to think of doing dumb things like spraying pepper spray in our trashcan. However, these moments were soon crushed after hearing the news that school was shutting down due to “COVID-19 spreading at a quick rate”. At that time, the school was only canceled for two weeks. Even when it was only two weeks, my friends and I dreaded it. We all texted in our group chats about how much we would miss each other, and how we were glad it was only two weeks (even though some of us wished it was longer). A little later, the mayor said that we had to go under quarantine. God knows how long that would be, my friends and I texted each other in the groupchat sharing our sadness. 

I could say the pandemic was one of the hardest points of my life, probably even the hardest. It was hard. Not being able to see my friends every day, not being able to take one single step outside, etc. It felt like a new life, and it was getting harder and harder to adjust to. In the beginning, I thought that I would be able to get used to this, as we didn’t know when this would end. However, the start of high school was one big jump for me. Not only did we have to get adjusted to online classes every. single. day, but it was a new school with new people with new teachers. I was terrified.

I knew no one and had to mentally prepare myself when going into a class. Starting from there, I was stressed every single day. I had to learn how to time manage everything. Yes, of course, all we did was just stay at our desks and stare at a laptop the whole day, but it’s easier said than done. Sometimes you just want to throw everything out the window and just give up, which is exactly what I wanted to do. No day passed in which I hadn’t cried or felt like crying. I was not used to this feeling at all. The feeling of emptiness stuck with me throughout quarantine, which made me lose motivation. I was failing some of my classes, even the easy 100 classes, such as physical education. I soon came to realize that I was not a kid anymore. Going to high school was a big change enough, but needing to schedule everything myself and organizing all my mixed-up emotions was also difficult. I realized that I needed to be more independent and do everything alone. Despite everything being a big change to my life, from transferring schools to having to quarantine, I realized I needed to do everything myself, and I couldn’t depend on people anymore. I am glad to say that I eventually did get my life together. I am now, 17 years old, a senior in high school. Turning 18, I can now say that I couldn’t care less about losing friends, and how I let go of things more easily than when I did back then. Even though there are more things I care about now, such as my looks, I’m still grateful for taking these chances to force myself to be a more independent person, as that helped me a lot in high school.