“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear!” This cheesy quote from the 2003 “Elf” movie rings true for my family on both my mom’s and dad’s side. As fun as it is to be part of big families during Christmas time, not everyone gets along 100% of the time. My parents were both the middle children of their family and my sisters and I are in the middle of our cousins on both sides. Being in the middle age wise, it can be hard to seem “old enough” for the adults and older cousins, but only playing with “the littles” can sometimes feel like babysitting…for free. However, when the music starts playing, everyone starts to come together. 

When we spend Christmas with my dad’s family, countless aunts and uncles, cousins, great aunts and uncles, and second cousins crowd into my aunt’s house for Christmas dinner. The highlight of the evening comes when the food is cleared away, the weather and sports topics have been exhausted, and the music starts playing. Everyone shouts out song requests and phones, water bottles, and even forks turn into microphones. All ages get involved, the younger cousins run around screaming something close enough to the lyrics. The older cousins pretend they don’t know the songs with swear words in them while their moms and dads sing songs from the 70s at the top of their lungs. Throughout it all, my grandma claps along, smiling and chiming in when “Strokin” by Clarence Carter comes on, the song she used to sing with my grandpa. Our love for music makes our love for each other a little more tangible, we all see, hear, and feel it. Regardless of generation or last name, music brings my dad’s family together.

Christmas with my mom’s side of the family is a little different. My mother is in the middle of six children, so getting her immediate family together feels just as big as my dad’s extended family gatherings. There are 30 people total on my mom’s side (31 due in March), and that doesn’t count the small town friends and their families stopping in here or there to eat and somehow bring more food. Although we have little stereos and speakers playing Christmas music or old country songs throughout the week, the star of the show is the Christmas Eve church service. My aunt Emily is a trained opera singer and plays organ for the small church in Chaseburg, the 200 person town where most of my mom’s family lives. On Christmas Eve she sings Silent Night in the dimly lit church, which sounds like the actual angel chorus. Her voice devours the entire church, surrounding each person and sending chills throughout the congregation. The music doesn’t stop back at the American Legion in Chaseburg, which we rent out to fit the entire family in one place. Phones hook up to the TV speakers and the Rat Pack Christmas album dances around the room during darts, card games, and Mexican Train dominoes. The Christmas morning church service brings everyone’s favorite Christmas hymns, and then again stereos and bluetooth speakers blast a wide variety of songs as the dads grill outside and the moms cook in the kitchen. It doesn’t matter where, when, or who you’re with, music is playing and people will be humming, singing, or nodding along with it. 

Sometimes as we grow older, the joy of Christmas can get blotted out with stressful schedules and tensions between family members. By keeping the music playing, people forget about the real life troubles, remember the true reason for the season, and feel more connected to people around them. In my family, it’s not the shared DNA or matching last names that bring us together, what connects us all is the music.