Different people have different places that they go to be at peace. To be at peace is to be where you feel most relaxed and welcome. However, there are also some people who don’t know where to find their place. They always seem to be on edge… I am always on edge. There isn’t one place out there where I feel unjudged. Where I don’t have to worry about being perfect. Where I could finally be able to breathe without feeling like I’ll choke on the words I spit out. I am not comfortable in my own skin and I am not comfortable with how I act toward people. It seems that I always put on a mask. I create customized personalities for people. Put on a smile and pretend to like the same interests as others around me. Pretending to know the things I don’t. Life is just one big performance… and I am an actress in yearns for an audience.

Since I was young, I have always been told to “rub some dirt in it” or “Just smile for this one picture.” Why would I smile when there is really nothing to smile about? What would that do for me?

“Please... It would make me so proud of my daughter if you would just smile.” Just smile.

Time to put on the mask. I grimaced and made a fake, barbie-like smile. My lips curved and I pulled my hair further over my shoulder.

With the one slow click of the android phone camera that my mother used, I spoke irritantly. “Can’t I go back inside now? It’s cold.”

“Why do you always have to be crabby?!” She had begun. There is no stopping her now.

“Do you know how much I have done for you??? This is all I want! Just SMILE!” Her voice rose into aggression. I started to feel my ears burn with fury. All this woman has ever done for me was make my life look way better than it was. She was built off of the photographic lies of happiness. I hold the iced-out stare that I have practiced my entire life. I don’t want to fake a smile every day. I want to show that I am angry. That I can actually home emotions. I don’t have the time to get into another screaming match with her. I walk out of the front yard and onto the side of the road. I find my feet taking me somewhere new. Somewhere I don’t need to hear her yelling.

It was very difficult not to turn back. I wanted to let her know how much she had hurt me. How much she had let me down. The times that I have become so angry that I just have nothing to say anymore… only because she doesn’t listen to me. 

As I walk along the road, I find myself looking for somewhere to go. Somewhere to sit and think. That is where I met Drew. Drew is this dirty-looking girl. She has this mushroom brown hair, green eyes, and freckles that were perfectly splattered across her face. The only reason I knew her name was Drew was because of the silver necklace that she wore across her neck. That seemed to be the only new-looking thing that she had on her body. Other than that, she carried overalls and a pinstriped T-shirt. Drew looked at me. I looked at her.

“Where are your shoes?” I asked not even realizing how rude I sounded. 

“Oh, well my sister is using them right now.” She smiled and came closer to me. She smelt like freshly cut grass and dandelions.

“Oh… do you want to go on a walk with me?” I asked with a small weary smile. Drew doesn’t have a lot and it shows. She is definitely impoverished. It made me feel terrible for having shoes that were my own and new clothes on my back.

“Sure!” She smiled and began to walk with me. “What’s your name?” She asked me as she was staring up at the sky. She looked to be more interested in the deep blues of the sky.

“Sophia,” I said simply as I was continuing to examine her. I didn’t even realize I was staring.

“Oh cool. I’m Drewson. But my friends call me Drew.” Drewson? What kind of a name was that? She was an odd girl with an odd name. I liked odd people. They were so real in this world where everyone was fake.

“I know, I saw your necklace,” I said with a smile.

“Oh, that’s right. My mother gave it to me.” She said as she looked down. Drew seemed to reminisce about the necklace. I glanced at her face and her eyes. Her eyes seemed to grow dim.

“Ah.. that sounds nice,” I said as we walked. Our strides matched with each other.

“Do you go to school?” I asked as I tried to switch the conversation. I didn’t do well with awkward silence.

“Used to,” She said with a laugh. “My dad believes that we would learn more at home,” Drew added as she hopped over a rock. I saw the bottom of her feet and they were black. She must have been outside for a long time.

“I wish I didn’t have school..” I rolled my eyes. Mother would always make me go. I know she did it in my best interest but it bothered me. It was because everyone was always acting. There were never any real people.

We continued walking and talking. We walked and talked all day. It was nice. She made me laugh and I made her smile. Drew taught me how to braid hair. She also made me a little dandelion crown. That crown I ended up wearing home. It made me happy. I made a REAL friend.

I came home with a big smile on my face and my brother looked at me. He seemed to be confused as to why I wasn’t so droopy. I just walked right passed him and went to my room.

That day, Drew taught me something. She had taught me how to be myself. How to feel with my heart. I learned that sometimes, to bring out the real in someone, you need to help them take off their mask. 

To this day, I have that dandelion crown. I learned to be real. I learned to guide people to be the best they can be. Even my mother has learned a little bit from me. We don’t argue as much as we have.

Remember this, to bring out the “real” in people, you must be real with them first.