Growing up I wanted only one thing, to be a Canadian. Both of my parents are Canadian, my whole extended family is Canadian, so I thought why not me? My parents just had to move to Colorado and have me instead of staying in Canada, I guess. I mean really mom and dad?  I know it sounds silly but I always thought it would be so much cooler to be able to say “Yeah I'm Canadian, cool right?”, but I truly wasn’t. For 12 years of my life I would actually tell everyone I was Canadian and people would always tell me that it was so cool. “What is it like up North?” , “Do you see polar bears a lot?” , “Do you have a pet polar bear?” were questions I would often get, but I was happy to answer. Because in theory I was living my dream, of being a true canadian. 

I believe that being a Canadian is truly a better way of life and a huge part of my identity. The start of my obsession with being a true Canadian starts with its beauty. I have visited Canada countless times in my life and the mountains, lakes, skiing, and wildlife is unlike anything I've ever seen. It is truly unmatched and everytime I go to a new place in Canada I swear it is more beautiful than the last. But the most special place to me is a place I have gone every single summer for as long as I remember. The place is Shuswap Lake in the province of Beautiful British Columbia, Canada. This place is the most beautiful on the planet. 

As we drive into Shuswap lake for our Summer trip once again, I am stunned by the beauty. I look out of the Jeep window to see the beautiful dark blue lake lined with the sharp peaks of the Rocky Mountains. As we make our way along the windy lake-side road I am in awe of everything. The trees that line the mountains are a forest green once again, the sky is so blue, and there is not a single cloud in the sky. The next thing I know we are pulling into a little resort called Willow Shores. This place has been a staple in my family for generations. My great grandpa helped build the first dock on the lake. That's the thing I love about this place the most, is that my whole family surrounds me everytime im here. 

The boat purrs as it pulls out of the dock. It is the first boating day of the season. I will never get over the beauty of it all. Tall mountainous peaks line the lake on both sides, covered by massive green pine trees that poke out of the earth. The lake itself has the most beautiful dark blue water, it gets the deep blue color from being over five hundred feet deep in some areas. The lake is filled with snow runoff from the Winter season that has subsided. As soon as I jump into it I can feel the pure refreshing water touch my skin. The temperature is just right on a sunny day. The sky painted blue and not a cloud is in sight. You could be here for weeks and see no clouds. Just the top of the mountain peaks met by the bright blue Canadian sky.

As I jump off of the boat to get on my wake-surfboard I hear the engine purr and then feel a slight pull from the rope. I am up and surfing the waves from behind it. I toss the rope in once I am ready to go on my own. I reach down as I surf to feel the water, the perfect blue mountain water. I look at all of the bubbles the waves create beside me. For some reason the water turns a green color as you surf it, I believe it is from the boat and the way it spits out the wake behind it. I listen to the birds chirping overhead as an old country song plays on the boat speakers. My cousins, aunts, and uncles are all in the boat dancing around to the cheesy music as I hear splashing coming from under the board as it hits the water. Then as my body gets tired from surfing I fall off splashing into the cool water, the perfect remedy to a hot day.

I hop back onto the boat for a snack. I have a veggie wrap and some cheese cubes, along with a big bottle of water. The wrap tastes like heaven after a long day of surfing and being in the water. I take a never-ending swig of the bottle of water and I feel rejuvenated as it was the first sip of the day. The only thing I had before that was the taste of the lake water in my mouth from falling off the tube, something that I could have done without. After I finish my snack I look back into the abyss of the perfect lake in between the Rocky Mountain range, as I smell the refreshing scent of the clean mountain air. The barbecue on the boat is on as well, so the scent of smoke and burgers is picked up by my nose. As my cousin begins surfing again I hear cheering from the boat, he got up on the first try. I will never get sick of looking at this beautiful lake and scenery around me. It brings me so much peace knowing I get to go to that special lake every single year.

I like to think of this lake as a reminder of my life. It is so beautiful even at times when the sky is covered in clouds as thunder rings down from above. Or when it is Winter and the whole lake is frozen over and the peaks surrounding it are covered in snow, I know that the beauty of the lake still hides underneath waiting to emerge in the spring season once again. My life can be so difficult at times especially with the recent change of having to move 700 miles away from my hometown. Coming to ASU felt like the lake during the Winter. I felt numb and frozen, I knew I had to start fresh and grow into new friendships and into my new home. I had to restart and prepare myself for a new season of life. The beauty of the last season of my life was now frozen over and left back in Colorado. I think back to the happy memories and all of the people in my life just like I think back to that beautiful lake in Canada. I know soon enough I will be in the beauty of feeling safe in my comfort filled home once again. 

That feeling of warmth and the reminders of being my happy self brings me back to Canada. I think that is why my whole life I have rendered myself a Canadian and told others that I in fact am from Canada. It is part of my identity because the place up north that I am so fond of, brings some of my best memories. I think of family and friends and being surrounded by the beauty of nature and the people I love when I think of Canada. It is my real home. 

I do think being American is great as well though. I have loved my life in America and I am blessed to still be living in a good country. Being American is my identity and there are a lot of things I admire about it. Here I have freedom and a home as well as friends and family to surround me. There is beauty in America as well. Living in Colorado I have truly gotten to know the beautiful landscape. The mountains, lakes, nature- it is all something I know and love. I am proud to be an American because it is truly a huge part of who I am. 

Through the people and the beauty my heart will forever hold a place for Canada. The thought of being Canadian still sounds amazing but I will also recognize how fortunate I am to be an American. I have stopped telling everyone that I am a Canadian which is a start, but the happy memories and familiar feeling Canada brings me is why I hold it so high in my heart. It is my true home. 

This is because of the fact that I believe that being a Canadian is truly a better way of life and a huge part of my identity. It is in my blood and forever will be. Even though I was not born there I connect it to my inner self because of the positive impact Canada has had on my life.