As I sit on my living room couch writing this essay while my classmates are at desks and absorbing a room full of conversation, I lay here on my back… jealous. I have the flu. I am tired and recovering at home, yet the only thought bouncing around my feverish brain is how I need to be at school, how much I’m missing, and if my grades are tanking at this very moment. I was blessed with a long weekend to recover, but how much recovery can I do when from a young age, the need to be in school for fear of falling behind has been instilled in my anxious conscience? A good old-fashioned case of FOMO, but not quite. Rather, I call this FOFB, otherwise known as the fear of falling behind.

Ever since I was a kid, I can remember dreading being sick and my mom telling me that I had to stay home. In third grade, I missed the Scholastic Book Fair and multiple math lessons because of a stomach bug. In sixth grade, I fell behind because of the common cold. In ninth grade, I was behind in everything due to major shoulder surgery, and now as a senior, only seven weeks away from graduation, I find myself anxious, overwhelmed and writing this essay when I told my mom that yes, I will rest and worry about school later.

My favorite phrases from friends and my mother include “Just relax,” “Worry about it later,” or my favorite, “Your teachers will understand.” Yeah, how about no?

The ability to relax without feeling guilt-free can be seemingly impossible for people like me with FOFB. The reality is that our stressful antics can actually lead to more problems. According to WebMD, symptoms can look like “nausea, low energy, headaches.” All of these symptoms can lead to lowered immune health and a higher possibility of you coming down with an illness.

This isn't just a fear that can go away overnight, rather it will take a while to understand, evaluate, and come up with a solution. But a solution will take a while considering the fear of missing school has been created by demanding teachers and administrations.

The term “Absence Excused” isn't a valid statement, excuse, or explanation anymore.

Zoe Abel, from the Vanderbilt Hustler, writes about her opinions about not being able to take a sick day in today’s world. She claims, “Between the frat flu and the actual flu, it seems like everyone on campus is sick. Making up missed work is one of the most miserable and stress-inducing pressures on campus, especially when you’re not feeling 100 percent. It’s what keeps me going to class, even when I probably shouldn’t.” She also details how you are expected to fend for yourself, make time to make up work, earn and maintain good grades, and at the same time take care of yourself. A combination of hypocritical statements students are left to decipher for themselves.

The ability of teachers and admins to tell students to take days off for sickness or mental health reasons is then followed up by accusations as to why you are falling behind. These hypocritical ways of thinking can be stopped by forcing adults to step back and realize that they would also struggle to complete a crippling amount of work while bedridden and overwhelmed with guilt from having no other choice than to stay home? 

The ability to empathize especially in the past three years due to the pandemic has riddled down to not checking in on one another, but rather assuming. asking are you okay but rather assuming individuals don't need help and leaving them to fend for themselves in situations they have no control over. Empathy and sympathy can be seen in extensions, extra help, checking in over emails, or even just a nod and smile. The bare minimum for these students who have fallen victim to FOFB is extremely important in situations they can’t control and would avoid if they could. 

But in the meantime, I lay on the couch dreaming about the day I can cut myself some slack.  Trust me. If I didn’t have a 102-degree fever right now I would be sitting at my desk in room 217.

Works Cited

Abel, Zoe. “ABEL: I can't take a sick day—and neither can you.” The Vanderbilt Hustler, 6 November 2021, vanderbilthustler.com/43808/featured/abel-i-cant-take-a-sick-day-and-neither-can-you/. Accessed 3 May 2022.

Marks, Hedy, and Smitha Bhandari. “Stress Symptoms: Effects of Stress on the Body.” WebMD, 19 August 2021, webmd.com/balance/stress-management/stress-symptoms-effects_of-stress-on-the-body. Accessed 3 May 2022.