When I was young (almost too young to remember) my mother was very poor and my dad was not fit for being a father. They argued constantly and one day my dad got sick of it and left. Me and my brother grew up without a father and barely a mother. After my dad left, me and my brother moved in with my grandparents for a whild. Until one day my mom decided to give us to our dad for some reason without telling our grandparent. I can’t remember most of the details of my dad’s house, but I remember there always being a bitter smell in the air. The time at my dad's house (as I could remember it) was like a special kind of hell. 

I can faintly remember the constant beating, being locked in a dark room, having soap put in my mouth, and the steaming hot or freezing cold showers all for reasons that I did not understand. They had a daughter that they loved and cared for. They didn’t care if she did anything wrong because they always blamed it on me or my brother. For example, when she broke a pot on the shelf my brother was blamed for it and he was beaten. Most of the time, my dad locked me in a dark room because he had nothing to do with me. One thing that I remember very well is when my dad’s girlfriend almost drowned me in the bath. I remember not being able to breathe and I almost blacked out. I remember looking up out of the murky water until she pulled me up just in time. 

Life with my “father” was horrible and I had to try to survive this for 5 long months which felt like an eternety. My grandparents still didnt know where we were because she thought we were with our mom. Shd didnt know until my aunt told her that my mom let our dad have us. My grandma was furious with my mom. She was so mad that she forced my mom to show her where my dad lived. My grandparents set off to try to find me and my brother. When my grandparents found us they lied to my dadand said that she was going to take us for the weekend but she never came back. My dad never called about us which just proved that he didnt care about us. 

After that I lost most of those memories until I got old enough and I started getting small flashbacks. I also overheard my grandparents talk about what happened. I remembered almost everything that they did to me and my brother. After that, my life started getting worse. I started getting depressed. It didnt help that my mom lied to me and my brother our entire lives and still lies to us to this day. A little after my grandparents took us back, they became very verbally abusive. Calling us names and saying stuff like we were useless and unwunted. It felt like no one in my life cared about me and I contemplated suicide a lot. I never got help for any of this and I still havent. Some nights I stay up just thinking about why I'm still here and why I was born if I wasnt wanted in the first place. Nowadays my grandparents act like nothing ever happened and sometimes it makes me really upset. So when I get older, I'm planning on moving out and never coming back. Since I'm older, I'm able to contemplate what happened that day. I relised how unfair life is and how lucky some people are. To the people who have loving parents or good friends, make shur that you tell them that you love them and charish every second that you spend with them. Because some people aren't as lucky to even have parents let alone have ones who love them. And to the people who are struggling with any sort of issue with family, friends, money, whatever. You will make it through. Just keep moving forward.