My name means “beautiful, harmony, and peace”. When I think of these words, I think of how these words enable confidence in people. However, my name doesn’t enable that confidence. The biggest issue is the challenge people face when meeting me for the first time. They almost never pronounce it right.

About 10 years ago, I went to a summer camp every day for two weeks. On the first day during attendance, the camp leader reaches my name.

“Hmmm… A-lah-na Judd?” She says, with a puzzled look on her face.

I’m not the most confident person, so I just let the mistake fly by and replied with, “Here.”

Turns out that little mistake turned into a big mistake. For the next two weeks, everyone at the camp called me A-lah-na. I mean c’mon people! I had a name tag on the whole time, and my name is spelled out phonetically. I thought, Can these people even read? The word “lay” is in my name! It wasn’t until the final day that I built up the courage to tell a camp counselor that my name is actually A-lay-na, and not A-lah-na. She apologized many times and I just told her it was not a big deal, because it was not the end of the world.

While that instance is just one of many times that people have pronounced my name wrong, it makes me realize that I don’t always feel that I am the right person for my name. Even today, I really only correct people if they ask if they are saying it right, otherwise, I just let it be. I’m not confident in my own name. Giving me a name that isn’t easy to spell or pronounce was not the greatest fit for me, since I don’t live with the confidence to tell my name to others. I want to build that confidence and make my name something I can speak boldly and correct others if needed. My name is a big part of my identity, and I should have the courage to speak my identity clearly. After all, the meaning of my name should radiate confidence throughout myself.