I am a teenage girl. Everything I do is based on society’s standards. From the way I dress, who I speak to, how I act, and what I think. Society holds a block between who I am and who I pretend to be. As a female in today’s world, I am constantly being overlooked. They tell me not to care what others think. They also tell me not to be so careless. It’s almost as if they can’t pick a side. I am a teenage girl. 

I am told to dress up and look pretty, show some skin, be creative. I am also told, don’t show your skin, and don’t be weird. If I dress with no skin showing, I am hiding my body and I look lazy. Showing my skin is distracting. I have to wear a bra to keep my boobs in place, and If my breasts are visible through my shirt I mine as well write slut on my forehead. My body serves a purpose, when I have a baby, that is how I breast feed. I am still forced to wear a bra and keep my breasts hidden. Men’s chest serves no purpose whatsoever, yet they can wear no shirt and showcase them to the world. As a female in today’s world I have to be revealing, but not too revealing. 

I am a young lady who is trumped by adults. Adults can tell me what to do and how to be, but standing up for myself is disrespectful. I can’t speak to an adult with authority because they are older than me. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but an opinion that makes the world question me is irrelevant and I need to keep quiet. I am a young lady who has no true control over my mouth. 

I am a teenage girl who needs to experience the world, but I can make no mistakes. I must be polite even when I am cat called and I have to apologize for my opinions. I can’t go out late at night because men will creep on me. I can’t go to parties because I could participate in illegal activities. I am not allowed to go out, so instead I sneak out. I get in trouble and lose all control over my life. My parents force me to hangout with people after school, but I am told to get straight A’s. I am allowed to make no mistakes, but I have to be an adult at age 18. 

I am a girl with a twisted mind. They ask me how I’m doing, and we all know there is only one acceptable answer. “I’m good, how are you” Really the voices are louder than my music and my brain screams hateful things that speak louder than the love from my own parents. I have to get a great education, but what does it matter if I am not happy? Hush, smile, and wave. How you feel is irrelevant, you still must be kind and energetic. Keep a smile and look pretty. I am a teenage girl with a smile plastered on my face. 

I am a girl who is truly lost. My heart aches and my mind wanders. I hide my body in baggy shirts and jeans. I paint a face on every morning because I don’t feel confident in the face I wake up in.  I am alone, but I walk through crowds. 

I am pretending to be put together and happy. I smile and try to laugh. I do my homework and do all I can to provide for those I love. I am pretending that I have energy to shower and smile. I believe that I am the greatest actor to walk the Earth. Without my journals you couldn’t tell how lost I am or how deeply I feel the feelings that I do. 

I am a teenage girl, and everything there is to life is controlled by the society around me. It doesn’t matter how confident I am, I will still be told to cover up or show more. I will always be told to be kind even when I am being disrespected by someone who is older than me. I am a teenage girl, and I am pretending to be put together.