During the summer of 2019, I think I had just had enough. No, it didn’t have to do with family or friends; rather, it was something online. I had been keeping track of a noticeable trend in a community about how unfit the moderation staff was and, unfortunately, still are. Although I was sick of how cruel the moderators were, I hoped that they treated their members with respect someday. “Why did he choose those two as the successors?” I asked myself. I had a short interview with an ex-moderator, discussing his opinion on the community and its staff, among other things.

 “I mean, they could be doing worse.” As expected, he didn’t think very positively about them either. So, I jumped straight into arguing with one of the moderators.

I hosted a small meeting with one of them who I originally conceived as a responsible and true leader. “Should the behavior of a curator be compared to a child?” I  asked her. But, to my utter disappointment, she sided with him, stating that he “has issues going on right now.” But, shouldn’t one focus more on their well-being instead of helping a community, only to spaz out at random? I certainly hope so. Yet, the outcome was to be expected. I wasn’t the most well-liked user there. But, I felt like redeeming myself and wanted to make a change for the community for it to flourish once more. However, the chances of that were near zero. 

The following day, I confronted the moderator with whom I had the most issues. This man acts so out-of-range for his age. He has insulted me. He shamed me for liking obscure, cute shows. He let anyone say anything to me and not receive a consequence. My conscience knew it wasn’t going to end well for me, but I was told to give everyone a second chance. That night, I messaged him, criticized his actions, and emphasized that he was a terrible moderator. 

He proceeded as if it was some sort of attack. Admittedly, I wasn’t subtle about it, nor did I handle it smoothly. But on the internet, you never know who you’re dealing with. He left the moderation team after that, and I was left with a strike, so I couldn’t message anyone within the community. It felt unsatisfying, but it was time for me to rest.

The next day was uneventful. The community was unaware of what happened that night. I was still muted, so I checked in on other communities. It wasn’t until noon that I noticed something different. Then it hit me; I was banned. But why? Shortly after noticing that, the ex-moderator sent me a link to a blog, leaking the entire conversation I had with him. It was that moment it was time to strike.

So, I hopped into many other online communities, warning about the bad moderator. It was nice to talk to other people, and they sympathized with me. I made a couple of friends along the way, some who wanted to help me in the situation, and others who shared similar opinions and experiences. With everyone’s help, I was able to cope with this weird position I was in. But, one obstacle that I will probably never overcome: the other moderators.

While the main moderator I had issues with is no longer one, most of the other moderators weren’t the best, either. Sadly, I don't expect them to behave any differently from the one who left. Unless they resigned from their position, I don't expect that everyone will get the appropriate level of respect. Moderators love to play favorites and hold on to their power. I understand this. Sometimes, you can’t have everything in life, or in the virtual world. I hope someday there will be some new, understanding and fair moderators in the future. The best ally I have to resolve this online issue is time.