The first time when my dad left my mom was a really tough time for me. But the second time he really left.  

“Hey girls, your dad left us,” my mom explained. I didn't know what to do when she told me and my sister. It was right after we had gotten off the bus from school. I knew something was off  that day, but I had ignored it. “Your dad left when y'all were in school, sorry girls,” my mom continued. I didn't believe her; I thought it was a joke. I kept denying it. I didn't want it to be true. 

I should have known he was leaving because I saw the boxes and containers of his clothes and other things. Instead I had thought, “Oh, what a good way to save dresser space.” I was such an ignorant little 6th grader. I had no idea.

My mom and dad would fight all the time over little things: cooking or how the trash needs to be taken out. When I got home, I saw everything of his gone, all his boxes, containers, the television, his PS4. The closet was empty. I started to break down and cry; I found a shirt of his and I just kept it and cried into it. I was so broken it was my first heartbreak. 

 I see my mom as a strong woman; I look up to her. She told me that my dad wanted to leave us when my sister and I were toddlers, but my mom begged him to stay to raise us, and he did. 

It took time for me to heal and finally see him, but the bad thing about it was when my oldest sister broke down. It was one of the few times I have ever seen her cry. And, on top of that, my mom it hurt so much to see her cry too.

 I cried all night thinking about it and asking myself, “Did he really leave because of me?” I finally realized that he wasn’t happy with my mom. I understand that now: sometimes you have to let them go in order to be happy. 

My mom asked him why he left. He said he had stayed to wait for her to change, to see if he could love her. He didn't love her anymore, he still loved her but as a best friend. He said “ I waited to see I or you would change since Sofia was born. It has been twelve years since now I can’t wait anymore.” When I heard him say that I felt this rush of sadness and the feeling that is was my fault.

 Now that it has been three years I have learned so much from it. I still love my parents; sometimes they still even hangout which I used to think was weird and would give me panic attacks, but now I think it's cool that they are still friends and can co-parent me and my sister. 

That day was one of the worst days that happened to me but it's also the most I learned from. It still hurts to think about it because I thought he was happy and loved our family I know now that I want him to be happy with himself and us. When my dad left he wanted me and my older sister to come live with him. My sister and I didn’t know what to do, we were just twelve and thirteen. 

My sister wanted to live with my dad and I wanted to live with my mom. I didn’t want to live without my sister we went through so much together we were close I love her so much she was my best friend and partner in crime growing up. I told her that I didn't want to be apart because we won't see each other unless we go to school but in school, we are so busy that we can’t. I didn’t want us to grow apart. We both stayed with my mom because we thought it was a better fit for us. It was a really hard decision for us.

 Where mine and my dad’s relationship is right now is good. I see him every other weekend. Sometimes we just hang out at the house and watch movies. We are closer than ever now. When he was still with my mom, we weren’t as close as we are now because he was always playing his video games and always working. Now we are close something came out of something bad and it's the best thing that happened to my relationship with my dad.