My mom often refers to the area that we live in as ‘Trump Town’, because nearly everyone is conservative. I can’t express to you how conservative some of these people are, they would probably worship Donald Trump if they could. Of course, that goes against the Bible, and they are very Christian, so they can’t do that. And being very conservative Christians, the majority of the population of Trump Town are against the LGBT+ community. As a member of the LGBT+ community, I don’t know how to be gay in Trump Town.   

I first realized that I was gay when I was about 11 years old. For context, I am a member of the competitive swimming team at my local YMCA, and I had a crush on one of the girls on my swim team. She was one of my close friends at the time, and she is also gay. I can’t remember an exact moment that I realized that I had a crush on her, I just sort of knew. She was actually the first person that I came out to. We were doing a kick set at practice one day, and I asked her how she thought my mom would react if I told her that I had a crush on one of the girls on the swim team. Being on the LGBT+ spectrum herself, she was very supportive and immediately asked who my crush was. She started guessing people and eventually guessed herself, I said no to all of them, but based on my body language she quickly figured out that it was she was the girl. She didn’t feel the same way, and it created some awkwardness between us. We went through a rough phase in our relationship because of my crush on her, but we are still very good friends today, and have mutually decided to try and forget that phase of our friendship ever happened. (It was in middle school, so it is definitely for the best)

The next person I came out to was my older sister. I didn’t know this at the time, but she is actually on the LBGT+ spectrum as well. I remember this night very distinctly. I had Megan come into my room, and I started to tell her that I had something very important to tell her. In the middle of the conversation, she interrupted with “You’re gay?!” I was completely baffled, and immediately asked her how she knew. She simply responded with “Gays can sense each other”, and walked out of my room. I called her back into my room and we talked about the fact that we were both gay, who our first gay crushes were, and so on. Overall, my sister has been the most supportive person in my life. I call her for advice all the time (she lives on her college campus, not at home with the rest of our family), and she is the best sister that anyone could ever hope for.

I then came out to my mom. She was very supportive. I didn’t really plan on coming out to her the day that it happened, I just decided that I didn’t want to keep such a big part of myself hidden from her anymore (I’m such a cliche, I know). I talked to Megan about my decision before it happened, and she was a huge help in all of this madness. She inspired me to go with my gut about coming out, and she inspired me to be who I am with pride. After a pep talk from the world’s best sister, I asked my mom to go into her room. I walked into her room, and immediately started crying when I closed the door. I pulled myself together, and told her that I am gay. She was completely accepting of me, and still is to this day. We talked for a while, and her only concern was making sure that I knew that my duty to have grandkids for her was still valid. Our relationship has grown so much since I came out to her, and it gets better every day.

There was about a year gap in between when I came out to my mom and when I came out to my dad. This is because my dad is a conservative person. Most of the others in my family are moderate or liberal, so I had no concern with them, but I was very doubtful about whether or not my dad would accept me. This year was probably one of the hardest of my life. I was very anxious, and I went through a short period of depression. It got to the point where I would actively avoid my dad, especially one on one situations with him. What some people don’t understand about coming out, or anything along the lines of that, is your mind always goes to the absolute worst case scenario. Even if that scenario is absolutely ridiculous, and only happens to one in a million people, your mind will convince you that said scenario is going to happen. This is why so many people, including myself, are reluctant to come out. What I learned from being gay in a conservative area is that once you come out to someone, you will feel much better. Even if you are not accepted, even if the person stops being your friend, even if someone completely locks you out of their life, you will feel relieved.

I did eventually come out to my dad and he had no problem with me being gay. I was watching a lot of Connor Franta at the time, and I stumbled across his coming out video. This was the video that finally made me decide that enough was enough, and if it went poorly, I could get through it. So I walked out into the living room where my mom was sitting on the couch. I knew what had to be done, and I started to tear up just thinking about it. She could tell something was wrong, so she knew exactly what I meant when I said “I can’t do this anymore”, and she responded with “Do you want me to come with you?” I said yes, so we went into my parent’s room where my dad was petting our cat. She held my hand while I came out to him. All he responded with was “Okay”. After all that time of worrying and being anxious, all I got was “okay”. My dad is still supportive of me to this day, and for that I am eternally grateful.

Even though I have had a lot of good experiences, being on the LGBT+ community isn’t all happiness and rainbows. It can suck sometimes, especially when you live in an unaccepting community. I haven’t came out to that many people at my school, because I know that I will be made fun of. They would call me a fag, or a disgusting human being, or a sinner. I have been careful with who I tell, because I know that if word gets out, I will be the center of a lot of negative attention. There are a few LGBT+ people that are out, including our school’s first transgender person, and they are not treated with the respect that they deserve. When it comes to our trans guy, he is still called by his old name, people still use female pronouns, and yell at people who try to correct them. People at my school also say disrespectful things about gay people in general. There is nothing worse than sitting in your third period math class trying to get a worksheet done, when the two guys behind you are talking about how disgusting gay people are, not even knowing that there is someone on the LGBT+ spectrum right in front of them. A lot of the people at my high school are very conservative, and can sometimes be very rude about it, but I am grateful for that because it has helped me learn how to be myself in unaccepting areas.

Overall, being gay is great, and it is a part of myself that I am very proud of. Sure, it can suck sometimes, but life is about overcoming hardships. If there are any LGBT+ people reading this, just remember that you should never be ashamed of who you are. Live your life to the fullest, and don’t try to change who you are to fit what others want you to be. If there is anything I’ve learned from my experiences, it is that everyone is free to love whoever they want to love without consequence. Just be yourself, and if people don’t like you, then they don’t deserve to be a part of your life.