My hands shook as I was about to send the last text message. I knew this text message would alter my life forever, and it would shatter the last 2 years of my life. What was I supposed to do? I loved him--I know I did. I continuously thought, “If you love him, let them go.”

That same saying made it hard for me to grasp what was happening. I was breaking up with my first love--it sucked-- and it made my heart hurt enormously. As I typed the text, I could taste the hot tamale candy we ate after every date. He would tell me, “Stop eating them so fast before you choke,” and I would laugh like no other.

We were the perfect person for each other--exactly alike. Finally, I meet my person, I thought to myself. We would go out to the lake every weekend at the Riverwalk. We looked at the birds while talking about the week and how we felt. We adored the time around each other, and our parents thought that we would eventually get married. He was my best friend. Until it took a turn for the worst.

Towards the end of our relationships, thoughts would pop in my head. I haven’t spoken to Ty in days. Wow, what is this? Don’t talk to your girlfriend day.

Then I realized things were changing. We did not talk like we used to. When we did talk, it almost always started an argument.

He would tell me, “You’re being dramatic--I’m just super busy.” I was busy too. The difference is that I made time, and he did not seem like he tried.

This went on for a few months. When will I get my old boyfriend back? You make time for the people you love.

Throughout our relationship, I have gone to church to practice the virtue of patience. With the lack of communication in our relationship, I just thought Be patient--this is what you’ve been working on.

Now I am here, at this moment, about to send the text I dreaded for so long. I loved him but communication is key. In this situation, I needed to love myself more, so I sent the text.

Now, our relationship has come to an end. I am working on being more patient with myself and giving myself time to heal. The healing process is very slow, and I am still on my way.

I am trying to be patient and trust in God. It is really hard. I always think, Am I doing this right? Will I ever be the same? As of now, I am a work in progress. “Just let go and let God,” continuously plays in my head. Hopefully, I have the patience to listen.