The saying “you never know what you have until it’s gone” is so true, yet many people do not believe it until they themselves have experienced some sort of loss. I used to take everything and everyone I had for granted. That ended when I lost my grandfather. His death came pretty suddenly after he broke his hip from a fall two weeks earlier and could not get better. I was the one who heard him fall and found him outside my house on the ground after he missed the step. A fall like that for someone my age would have maybe left a bruise, but for an elderly person, it can be devastating.

I have always had guilt for my grandfather’s passing not because I felt like I had killed him but because I feel that I never treated him as well as I should have. My mother would tell me to be nicer to him, and I would get defensive because I did not think I was doing anything wrong. He would buy me anything and bring me anywhere, yet I would hide when he came out his room so I would not have to talk to him or answer any of his curious questions about what I was up to. I was selfish and did not value what I had.

I was reminded of my grandfather a couple of weeks ago right after my dad had surgery on his shoulder. My mom told me to move my shoes out the way so that my dad would not trip and fall over them–something she used to always tell me when my grandfather was still around. It forced me to think that I might not be treating my parents as well as I should and that I should just stop and take a moment to be grateful for everyone in my life. I, however, am not the first person to go through this. Ungratefulness tends to be a common vice in today’s society, but why do people always bite the hand that feeds them?

To others, ungratefulness can often seem like entitlement. Believing that oneself is superior to another person can make that entitled person treat other people worse. This can be seen all the time in restaurants when customers treat their waiters badly. For me, I do not believe that this is why I was unappreciative of my grandfather.

Ungratefulness can also stem from never being taught to be thankful. Parents have an inherent responsibility to teach their children to have good morals. My parents did not fail to do this, but a part of growing up has been finding and creating my own beliefs. I do not blame my parents for my actions because they had always told me to treat my grandfather better and it is my own fault that I did not listen.

I firmly believe that my thankless attitude towards my grandfather came from the ignorance that I would ever lose him. I also believe that this is why most people are ungrateful towards loved ones. When loss is experienced in a new way, it changes the perspective of the afflicted person. The death of my grandfather changed my standpoint and outlook on how I should treat my loved ones. This occurrence in my life has shaped me to be a better person, and although I still feel pain over it, I am thankful to have learned from it.