In fifth grade I was a lot like other kids, I had an addiction to shark tank. I watched all the good and awful product pitches for entertainment and there was one in particular that just completely sold me which was a morph suit, but the company called it a “root suit” instead for their brand name. So as my graduation gift I got this fifty-six dollar costume in leopard print, because as a fifth grader leopard print was all the rage. I ended up getting it wearing it once and stowing it away in my closet, as there are not many events that one can wear a full body leopard print suit to. For the fourth of July my parents wanted to take me out to fireworks while we were staying in Fort Lauderdale while my dad was on business, so of course, I figure this is my opportunity, I’m suiting up. 

I put on the suit and my hair got stuck in the zipper immediately. Now I was stuck with my face in it for the night, I wouldn’t be able to see much, a good 2% in the dark, and I wouldn’t be able to eat. While we were driving we could hear the firework show, but there was so much traffic and the buildings were in the way of the view. Some people had decided to park their cars in the street and just walk to the beach to see them due to the standstill traffic. With people walking the streets, many very inebriated things began to be more fun. My father opened the sunroof and I stood up through it to view the partying, fireworks, and sparklers that people were doing in the street themselves. Through the blurriness of the suit, an enormous ball of light appears right in front of my face. People who were walking the streets decided to stand on the side foot step of our SUV with a light-up orb from Disney World, and party with us. My suit making them think that we were the group that would want to join them. 

In coincidence, my father was friends with a guy who knew them so we parked our car at their house and joined them in walking the rest of the way to a restaurant and bar on the beachside. We had to cross the bridge on Las Olas to get there, but half of it was under construction. So amongst traffic and confusion in which direction to choose, my father and I ended up walking through the construction zone while my mother and the group walked the sidewalk on the other side of the bridge. Following my father with limited vision and no light from street lamps or cars, I carefully made my way through the rhubarb that did not yet have concrete over it. Then out of nowhere, I was met with a fire extinguisher to the face. I had always thought that a fire extinguisher let out more of a solid substance like whipped cream but instead it's more like fog, that smells and tastes really bad. My father thought it would be funny to try out a fire extinguisher. Looking back now I can’t help but find it hilarious and awesome, but at the time I was not too amused. He helped me get the mask part of the suit off so that I could better breathe without the smell, and now I could finally see better.

We arrived to the restaurant/bar and met with the group, at this point it was just a couple, the woman was named Paris and had the glowing orb, and the boyfriend who I forgot his name that was probably Brad or Chad, but I do know for sure he was wearing a cowboy hat. They had attempted to order me an alcoholic beverage because they thought I too was an adult because I was a very tall kid in fifth grade. People at the bar immediately flocked to the sight of my outfit and requested that I put the hood on so I did to appease my audience and my hair once again trapped me in. Now I had to deal with the awful smell of the fire extinguisher that I was able to slightly get used to and deal with. Then my water arrived at the table and I came to the realization that I was in dire need to rehydration so then I remembered in the “root suit” shark tank sales pitch that I watched 327 times that they mentioned I could drink through the suit. So my ten-year-old mind thinks, “Hey I’ll get a sip of water” and so I get a swig of water and it immediately is absorbed into the face neck and chest of the suit. I am now being waterboarded. Not only this, the fire extinguisher taste that I thought had dissipated earlier was now in full effect, struggling to breathe I ripped my hair out and got a breath. That will probably be my most memorable Fourth of July.