I admit that there are times where I feel that I have to hide who I am in order to be the same as everyone. But I do have different sides of me. Therefore, it is alright to be different because it is more like who you are and discovering the many sides of yourself. I do not think hiding is good because it is just going against yourself, and not showing the real you. I believe many others are also like me.

When I am at home I am always loud, *cantankerous*, and demanding. While when I am at school I am always quiet, hard-working, and *genteel*. I still can not find which side I am on. I am constantly going back and forth. However, at home, I feel the most “me” I feel like I can express my feelings and be myself whenever I want instead of being tied down to a list of restrictions and rules that I should be following. I like to behave well at school because I want to be a good role model but I also hate having to behave well because I do not feel the most “me”. All of this is because I worried about how people will view me, I was afraid of judgments.

Once I am out of the house my whole entire attitude and behavior change dramatically. I am always changing my behavior and attitude everywhere I go just like a light switch that turns on and off. Like the light switch, it turns on when it has to be working and off when it is set free and not functioning. Usually, when I am at home I do not have to work and act in a way that I am expected to do so in school, for example in school if you do something that you get embarrassed you know next time you would not do it ever again. Like if you say something that was bad or embarrassing, you would know not to say it again next time.

When I am at school, I have to be cautious about the way I behave. I am scared that I will do a foolish act that may reflect upon me and the way people will view me. I am scared that people will end up disliking me because of my foolishness. I am cowered because I just don’t know how to behave the way people want me to behave. Even in front of my friends I can never open up because I fear if I do anything that they dislike they will end up hating me. I hear voices calling me that I should not speak or be out and about.

Communication with people was very hard for me, every time when I want to speak I would always think about what I am saying. I would think about if what I am saying is clear and not weird or being misunderstood. Also, I was very careful with my grammar and how I say the words it was as though I was even scared of using my own voice. In class my voice has always been the low one, it was so small, smaller than a water drip to be heard.

During middle school, I was more introverted however little by little I changed myself and tried to open up. Later on, in high school, I became more outgoing and mindful of my friends and close classmates, but I still know that I still have a lot to work on in order to improve because I am still not used to being opened up. In school, I would always care about my friends and what they were going through if they were going through something tough. I only had a few friends because they are the only close friends I can share my feelings and my issues with. A lot of friends were also like me so I feel very relatable and I also do not feel left out because I had someone that I can talk to and relate to.

In the end, yes all people may share a different side of them, but they would also find a way to better improve themselves instead of doing nothing about it. Sometimes we just need the time to slowly learn about ourselves and discover what better ways we can do to make ourselves more comfortable and presentable. Like being able to see yourself out the public. Being able to be true to yourself and to others.