The manta ray is a majestic creature. It swims around freely, in the bright blue tropical waters of the world. It can be as big as seven meters in width, yet it is harmless and likes to curiously swim around divers. Whether you see them travelling alone or in groups of fifty, they are truly a sight to behold.

Almost two years ago, I had the magical experience of seeing these manta rays when I went on interim to Western Australia. It was about halfway through the trip, and our itinerary for the day was to have a boat ride off the coast and snorkel in the ocean, hoping to see manta rays. The weather was as hot as an oven; no clouds were present in the sky, and the sun glared at us like an angry mother. Wearing a thick, black wetsuit was also not helping any of us with dealing with the heat, but I hoped that the snorkeling experience would make up for it.

As the boat left the harbor, our travel guides started to explain the procedure to us. It was as if their voices were in constant battle with the loud, persistent noise from the boat engine. I had never snorkeled before, so I strained my ears to pick up their words. Put the fins on your feet, wear a life vest, make sure the snorkel tube is above the water, and breathe calmly. Follow the group and don’t stray. Those were the words I lived by for my first snorkeling experience, but looking at the mighty waves in the ocean, I was unsure if I would be able to do it. What if the waves carried me away from the group? And what if my snorkel tube went underwater and I couldn’t breathe? These doubts festered in my mind as we continued forward at a breakneck speed.

Finally, we began to slow down. “This is the area we will be snorkeling in, and hopefully we’ll be lucky enough to see some manta rays!” said the instructor, Alejandro. As we all got up from the two long benches at the opposite sides of the boat, they reviewed over the procedure once again. I took in the surroundings. The sun was still glaring at us, but the ocean seemed to be much more mellow. It reflected the bright blue color of the sky, but I wondered what I would see underwater. I also had no idea about whether manta rays were harmful or not; I imagined them as really big stingrays, so that added on to my doubts.

We were divided into three groups, and thankfully I wasn’t in the group going first. As I watched them put on everything and jump into the water, I shuddered. They seemed like professionals, maybe snorkeling for the sixth or seventh time in their life. Not only was I going to be snorkeling and perhaps seeing manta rays for the first time, this was also the first real close-up experience I’ve had with the ocean. I’ve been to beaches before, but this experience was on a completely different level. I watched them dip down their heads and swim away in a small group, and I wondered what that initial feeling of seeing what was underwater felt like.

Pretty soon, I would have my answer. As the first group returned, they were all excited because they had seen the manta rays and the coral reefs and everything in between. That excited me as well, and I put on my fins, life vest, and snorkel, ready to experience it for myself. I jumped off the back of the boat into the water with my group, and was immediately greeted by the cold. It embraced me like a loved one’s hug, but I was definitely not in the mood for hugging, and I know they weren’t feeling it either. But no one complained, so I bit down on my mouthpiece harder and tried to get used to it.

We commenced our swim, so I dipped my head underwater, and what I saw completely shocked me. Beneath the mellow blue waters, I saw the vibrant marine life and amazing coral reefs. I could see little fish, big fish, and everything in between, swimming around all over the place. It honestly blew my mind, because I wasn’t expecting to see that. It felt like getting sucked in by a TV screen that was showing National Geographic. As I continued to take in the beautiful scenery, I made sure to follow the fins of my group members, so I wouldn’t get lost. But I felt that all of my doubts had left me, and were replaced by the excitement of this experience.

Later on, we got to see what we really came out for: the manta ray. I noticed something was happening when I saw the hands of people pointing towards something, and when I turned my head to look in that direction, I saw it. There was a giant manta ray below us, swimming forward, displaying its sleek black and white body. It looked like an eagle calmly flapping his wings in the air; it was so relaxed, and so oblivious to its surroundings, only swimming forward. It was in that moment in time when I really felt like a manta ray. I was swimming in the ocean, just as relaxed as it was, taking in the surroundings. I forgot about all my responsibilities as a human being, becoming just as oblivious as it was.

But this blissfulness didn’t last for long. As I returned to the boat, I returned from the magical experience to the real world. I returned from inside the TV screen to the living room. I was instantly reminded of my responsibilities as a human being, whether it was immediate responsibilities like putting away my fins and life vest, or long term responsibilities like applying to college, managing my own money, and finding a job. This saddened me and I wished that I could be free from these chains that bind us to life.

That is what still haunts me about my first snorkeling experience, and my encounter with the manta ray. It made me realize the privilege that I don’t have. It made me want to be as carefree as the manta ray, but unfortunately, that is one of the things that makes us fundamentally different as creatures. I have things to manage in life, things to get done in life, and I will forever be bound to these responsibilities. I can never be like a manta ray, but I sure wish I was.