When hope is gone you turn to one person for help and that person is your best friend. And you hope with all your heart that that person will see right through you because you love them more than anyone in the world even though they've lied to you and hurt you, but you know, you try because you still think this time might be different. When in reality every time you try to get them to see through you without actually saying something they can't and they turn something that could have been something simple into a huge deal. And you just wish for once they would see the world through your eyes so they could see everything that they put you through. You wish they could see the anger that they cause that they don’t even care about. And you ask them daily what they are doing to see if they are upset at all so you can make them feel better, yet they hardly ever ask what you are doing. And when they do they never see if you are upset. And through all they put you through, you just think they maybe one of these days they will treat you like a best friend should. Like a person who gets their full attention when you are crying. Like someone who saw you crying and comforted you instead of talking to someone that they have only known for 1 ninth of the time that you have. Because you feel like if you have a little hope for something that you could hang on to it all, even though you are slowly losing hope. You go every day thinking that this might be the last time you ever talk to them and that you should respect that. Because you know that you need to be comforted, and you think your best friend will know that too, but they don't and they never have and you wonder if they ever will. And if they can't see that you need to feel better than who can. Because when you told them that you needed help and to not ask why and the only thing they did was ask why. It broke your heart and it was the last straw before you broke down in tears. The Panic attacks you are left without friendship, happiness… or hope.