I’m sitting here in the emergency room. It smells like death and sickness, but my own terrifying thoughts about my grandmother dying are distracting me from the smell. I really want her to be okay.

“Aaron,” I hear a familiar voice say. As I look up, I see my mom motioning for my uncle to walk towards her. They disappear around the corner and then the room went silent. I could hear the thoughts that vanished when I heard my mother's voice. I look at my phone to check the time. It’s 11:30 pm. I’ve been here for about an hour. When I pull myself out of my own head, I look over to my right and I see my brother and my cousin sleeping on the chairs.

Is she gonna die? I hope she’s okay. What’s taking them so long? I want my nana. I think while I am waiting on my mom to get back. I check the time again, it’s now 12:45am. I quickly glance at the door. My uncle is back, but my mom stayed in the room. I become impatient and my hands start to shake. The humming from the vending machine grows louder and my thoughts have begun to overpower me.

I can’t help but think that something went wrong and my mother stayed back there because she didn't want us to see the expression on her face. I check the time again and it’s now two, going on three a.m.

“Hey.”
I look up and I see my mom.
“She’s on life support, but they’re taking her upstairs.”
I cross my arms and I begin to cry. I follow my mom to the elevator.

When we get there I push the button. When I turn around I see them wheeling my nana into the elevator across from the one I was stepping onto. She looks so calm. From what I heard, they gave her pain meds after they resuscitated her, so she was “comfortable.” We finally get upstairs and they get her settled into her room. My uncle, my cousin, my brother, and my dad stay out in the waiting room while I stay with my mom.

Sometime after the nurses leave I sit in the chair next to my nana and hold her hand. I go to kiss her forehead, but quickly recoil from her cold skin. I lay my head on the bed next to her, sobbing and begging God to leave her here.

Eventually the boys come into the room. I go out to the waiting room because they left our blankets and their phones out there on the charging table. Now I’m just sitting here crying and rocking back and forth trying to keep my composure. I heard the door open and my uncle comes out into the waiting room. He holds me until I stop crying and then he leaves to go to cafeteria. I go back into the room and I see the doctor talking to my mom. I walk over to the side of the bed my mom was on and I hold her hand. After the doctor leaves my mom goes out to the waiting room. My uncle was back by then.

Mom says, “These are our final hours with her.”

My uncle says, “Well I’ma go to grandma’s and get her up and dressed so she can come up here.” I watch my uncle leave as I sit there in pain.

I check the time again and it’s 3:30 going on four when my cousins (younger and older), my great aunts, my great grandma, and my uncle come back and we are all crammed into this tiny room surrounding my nana. My older cousins show up after everybody else. After they all came into the room and got a chance to see my nana we all end up going down stairs and getting food cause we were hungry. We come back upstairs and sit in the waiting room that’s inside the unit they put my nana on and we attempted to show my cousin how to make and drink hot chocolate. After that we went back and forth between the two waiting rooms and the room my nana was in.

We joked around and tried to make the best of the situation, but as time went on, the depressing thought of losing my grandmother flowed through my head.I find myself feeling lost and heartbroken. I gather myself and walk back to the room my nana was in. I check the time. It’s 7:35am. Everyone was standing around her, but the doctor was there this time.

“It’s time to say your goodbyes,” he says. Then he unplugs my nana’s ventilator, and as her she took her last breath I felt my heart collapse and my soul leave my body.