Ever since my sister and I were small, my mom said, “Your daddy and I don’t care if you marry a prince or a princess, as long as they love you as much as we do.” We were raised to accept and love everyone; it doesn’t matter what people’s ethnicity, religion, and sexuality is. My parents taught me that love is the most important thing. It wasn’t until I was older that I truly grasped and appreciated my mom’s saying.

I was thirteen years old and in the seventh grade, when my tale began. I was in sixth period English class, when we watched a clip from The Lion King. Mufasa, who had gold fur and a red mane, was walking with young Simba, who also had gold fur. They were walking through a field of grass, and Mufasa was teaching SImba about The Circle of Life.  I watched the projector with my eyes sparkling and a peaceful smile forming on my face. My cheek rested in the palm of my hand as my wide-eyes stared at the screen. Unknown at the time, this clip would forever change me.
          

All I could think about for the rest of the afternoon was that clip. As soon as I was home, I looked around the movie shelves to see if I owned The Lion King. I did not own it on DVD, but I did have it on VHS. The only VHS player in my house was in the basement, so I hurried down the stairs and put the tape in. While the tape was rewinding, I grabbed a blanket, a drink, and a snack to truly experience the movie. Once the player “clunked,” I pushed the play button with anticipation, but had to fast-forward through the trailers. When I saw the orange and yellow sun filling the large screen, I quickly shuffled over to the recliner to watch and my eyes never left the screen.
          

I watched that movie so many times, that it started to bleed. After I could not watch The Lion King one more time, I started devouring the other Disney movies I owned. I began researching Disney movies, remembering facts about them, and singing songs from them wherever I went. My room had become a grotto for my Disney movie collection. For months on end, all I watched was Disney films. When every breath I took was something Disney, that’s when I knew my obsession had commenced.
          

During sophomore year, my mom and I went to Disney World for spring break. My mom and I planned what we would do each day, and on that schedule, was taking a picture with the character, Mary Poppins. I wanted to take a picture with her because of my teacher. A teacher I was close with, Ms. Chandler, loved Mary Poppins. She read the book as a child, and the first movie she ever saw in theaters was Mary Poppins.
          

On the day my mom and I were in the park, EPCOT, we went to the Great Britain section to await for Mary Poppins’ arrival. We were second in line to see her, and my excitement grew as each minute passed.
          

“Hello,” Mary Poppins said in a sweet, song-like voice.
          

“Hello,” I responded as I walked towards her.
          

“What’s your name, dear?” She asked with her hand reached out.
          

“Hannah,” I said shyly and shook her hand.
          

“What a lovely name.” She said while pulling me to her side for a photo.

My mom and I hooked our arms with her’s, looked at the photographer, and smiled. Once we took our picture, we asked Mary Poppins if it was alright with her to take a picture of just her and she said “Of course!” She stood in fourth position with her left arm in the air, holding her parasol.

I thought she illuminated the very definition of elegance and beauty. Her white hat had a lace strap that went beneath her jaw. Her long-sleeved dress was white, with a poofy skirt. She wore white, laced, fingerless gloves. Her deep red corset emphasized her hourglass figure. Her shoes were white and black, and designed like they were from the early 1900s. She wore her dark hair in a circular, flat bun. She wore red lipstick that matched her corset, and even her nails were painted the same red. Her parasol was white and soft pink. The first thing I noticed, was that her brown eyes sparkled. 
      
          
* * * * *

When I returned home, I wrapped the souvenirs I got for Ms. Chandler in a little, paper gift bag. In the bag was the picture of just Mary Poppins and a collector’s pin of Mary Poppins that I found, and bought specifically for Ms. Chandler. She had no idea that I met Mary Poppins on my trip, let alone purposefully so I could get her a souvenir. I didn’t want my break to be over, but I was looking forward to giving Ms. Chandler her goody bag.
          

I went to school a little earlier than I usually do so I could give Ms. Chandler her gifts. I peeked through her door, and she was alone; it was perfect timing. I had safely, placed the bag in my backpack so it was out of view. That way I didn’t have to hold it behind me and look suspicious.
          

“Hello, Ms. Chandler. How was your break?” I said smoothly.
          

“Good. My sister and I went on a cruise.” She said as she took her eyes off her desk.
          

“How was your spring break? You and your mom went to Disney World didn’t you?” She asked nicely.
          

“Yes we did. It was great! . . . I actually have something for you.” I said with a huge smile on my face.
          

I unzipped my backpack and pulled out the bag. Ms. Chandler smiled sweetly at me. I handed her the bag as my eyes began to sparkle with anticipation. She pulled out the pin first and the picture second.
    

“Thank you. This is very sweet of you, Hannah.” She said with a grin on her face.
    

“It was so cool to meet Mary Poppins. She was absolutely beautiful. Her dress was identical to the one that Julie Andrews wore. She had stunning makeup on and even her nails were painted. She was gorgeous!” I responded.
“Wow, Hannah! Were you checking her out?” Ms. Chandler asked with a sarcastic tone, but with a hint of seriousness.

“Ummm . . . Heh . . .” I stuttered. Then the first bell rang.

“I should head on to class. . . Have a nice day, Ms. Chandler.” I stumbled as I quickly ran out the door.
“You too, Hannah.” She said with a smirk.

There’s something you should know about Ms. Chandler, she’s the type of person that is a strict rule follower, doesn’t tease or is sarcastic, and is predictable. So, her comment was very unlike her and took me by absolute surprise. This interaction threw off my entire day. I was in a funk all day, and had a horrible time trying to stay focused on my schoolwork.

My funk continued to get worse throughout the week, and I had no idea what was going on with me. The weekend arriving didn’t help either. I was in the basement, attempting to get schoolwork done, when my mom came to see me. My sister was gone at college, and my dad went to his office, so my mom and I were home alone.

“What is going on with you?!” She asked with some snark.
“I don’t know . . .” I said with monotone and stared at the floor.
“Well, you need to stop, do some deep thinking, and figure this out.” She said kindly.
As soon as my mom left, I started my soul searching. I was thinking about the past week. My interaction with Ms. Chandler kept replaying in my head. That’s what started all this. But why? I closed my eyes and replayed the scene in my head, with a better visual. Then I heard Ms. Chandler say “Wow, Hannah! Were you checking her out?”

Was I checking her out? The thought kept gnawing at me. Was I? Was I checking her out? Did I find Mary Poppins attractive? I was! I found Mary Poppins attractive.

My whole life then flashed before my eyes. Every time my friends talked about boys I just listened, but never contributed to the conversation. I realized that I noticed women’s beauty over men’s. I knew when men were attractive, but I was not attracted to them. I was attracted to women. I was a lesbian.

It had been over an hour since my mom left me to my thoughts. I called down my mom. I told her my interaction with Ms. Chandler, my thoughts during the last hour, and that I realized that I’m gay. We cried and my mom hugged me real tight. She said she didn’t care, that she loves me no matter what. When my dad came home, I sat him down and told him the big news. He treated it like it was no big deal. As the months passed on, I told more and more family members, and the more confident I became. Everyone was more than understanding and accepting.

My family thought my realization story was fascinating and ironic that it was a Disney character that helped me come out of the closet. Mary Poppins has been a vital character to me ever since. But I was already obsessed with Disney when I met Mary Poppins. I knew why Mary Poppins was important to me, but why was Disney? Why did I come obsessed with Disney?

It wasn’t until recently that I figured out the answer to that question. I realized that Disney is not only my escape and coping-mechanism, but a part of me. It’s a puzzle piece that paints the picture of who I am. I came obsessed with Disney after watching The Lion King. It was during that time that I was subconsciously questioning myself about my sexuality. I know my obsession would have started with any Disney movie, but I know it went “full steam ahead” because it was The Lion King that played during class.

Simba loses himself and needs to be reminded of who he really is. I did the same. I lost sight of my true self, and had to return to my real identity. It took me three years to remember who I was, but I did remember; just like Simba. Simba is important to me because he taught me to remember who I am and to embrace it.

My parents taught me to embrace people for who they are, because love is the most vital thing in life. Since I was little, my mom has said “Your daddy and I don’t care if you marry a prince or a princess, as long as they love you as much as we do.” Now that I’m older, I know what she meant; to not only accept people who are gay, that it was okay that I, myself, was gay. Now someday I will marry . . .   a princess.