Most people would write about fairytales and myths. But that’s not me. My life is a big maze. If I make one bad turn, then everything fires back at me like I’m a target that anyone and anything can attack. It’s extremely hard to cope with. My life has multiple ups and downs. But doesn’t everyone’s? Although people think I’m always talking about this subject to get “attention”, I’m really not. This isn’t a made up story about something non-existent. Bullying is real. Anxiety is real. Depression is real. But people take it like it’s nothing.

Throughout my school life I have been bullied. It started in elementary school. I got called so many abusive and hurtful names, like ugly, weirdo, stupid, that dumb christian girl, a no-brainer, unathletic and multiple more. Bullying isn’t easy that’s for sure. It started out with name calling. Then it advanced to pushing and shoving in the hallways. It excelled to me ending up being used and horrifically threatened. I came home crying everyday, and sometimes not talking at all when I had gotten home. People in my neighborhood didn’t even want to look at me because I was worthless to them. They didn’t care if I was rich or poor, they still wouldn’t talk to me. I was all alone.

Middle school didn’t get much better either. It got so bad that I would eventually get threatened that so and so’s parent told the child to beat me up. Of course, I shrugged it off and acted like nothing happened. I felt like everyday I was putting on some type of mask to cover up my scars and brokenness. It was like my face was shattered, or it was a reminder that I’m nothing to everyone. So I didn’t do anything about it. I stood back, and minded my own business because that’s what everyone told me to do.

My home life wasn’t much better. I’m not saying that my parents are horrible parents, and they bullied me as well. But I’m saying that my father was sick throughout my elementary and middle school year as well as this year. My dad is diagnosed with Epilepsy. Epilepsy is a neurological disorder marked by sudden recurrent episodes of sensory disturbance, loss of consciousness, or convulsions, associated with abnormal electrical activity in the brain. Which basically means his brain is really messed up. He doesn’t remember his childhood nor his and my mother’s wedding. He’s doing better, but with that added onto the pile of bullying sucked even more.

I moved to a different schools, not only because I needed another house, but because of bullying. I was bullied at the school I currently was going to, and when I moved, yes, it got better, but it eventually got back to how it was. I am still currently getting bullied, and I’m dealing with it better than I did then. But bullying isn’t fun at all. Bullying makes people feel like they’re worthless. I’m in High School currently, and as a freshman who gets bullied to this day, still sucks.

Most people don’t get the actual meaning of bullying, depression, and anxiety. Bullying is use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants. Basically, meaning hurting or abusing someone’s intelligence, or innocence, and making them feel like they shouldn’t be living. Depression is feelings of severe despondency and dejection. Meaning, it is a mental disorder, that occurs when someone is dealing with a hard time, or extreme struggle. Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. Sadly, I have all three.

I have separation anxiety which I have had since I was a little girl. Separation anxiety is when you are attached to a person and get nervous and feel uneasy about leaving that person. I don’t have it much anymore, but you would think that I was attached to my mother’s hip when I was a child. I wouldn’t ever want to leave her because of it. I was a leach, pretty much. This lead me to getting bullied because I was a “baby” and I was dorky because I always had to be with my “Mommy”. It’s really hard to get bullied because you feel like you can’t do anything. You feel worthless. Bullying is serious, and it isn’t something anyone should ever go through.