Emotions can be classified as two extremes, where there is happiness in one polar end and sorrow in the other. Life is a mixture of emotions that eagerly waits to shower happiness or knock people down with depression. I didn’t understand the essential meaning of life until one tragic incident switched off the happiness in me for a while. Family members are a large part of who I am today, and I have a strong affinity towards them. But, it really stabs people in their hearts like an arrow, when family members detach away, and vanish off to a place that they cannot be seen anymore. This arrow penetrated deep inside of me after the death of my grandfather, during the summer of 2014, when I was 15. Life functions as a cycle where there is birth and death, but I have always imprudently perceived that death cannot be instantaneous, and it made me reluctant to accept, that at times, it can also be abrupt and the detachment of an eternal bond.  
It all started with a panic in my parents’ voice after a call from India late at night. The news was conveyed that my grandfather was admitted into the hospital after becoming very ill and there is a possibility that he would not survive. After hearing this, my parents became startled and heedlessly began to make plans for my dad to depart to India as soon as possible. Midst this commotion, I sat down very silently in the corner of the room, not knowing what to do. Several things were running through my mind, starting with childhood memories that I spent with my grandfather, all the way to the silly little moments that we enjoyed together, such as watching movies late at night, and pranking other family members. These memories zipped through my body fast as a current that it brought a gush of tears to my eyes, instantaneously. I lamented heavily, just hoping that my grandfather would be relieved from the overpowering medicine stench, and would return back home to the smell of sugary delights. While I secluded myself from my household, my dad dashed out the door with his suitcase and tickets leaving to the airport with a speck of hope in his eyes, praying that his father would come back home. But, everything that is hoped for isn’t always destined in life, at least for my family. 
My mother is a strong woman, who continued to console my sister and me by “assuring” us that grandpa would be alright, despite the streaks of agony and agitation that remained on her face ever since my dad had left. Not only was there anguish, but there were also several awkward silences that existed at home. My sister and I would just glance at each other, and sigh heavily while staring at the phone for it to ring. At last, the phone rang, and it was my dad. I picked up, and there was absolute silence for 45 seconds and I began to apprehend, eventually, my dad’s low voice became audible, and he had replied that “grandpa is improving, but the chances of staying alive is pretty low”, and then I heard a small whimper, afterwards, my mom took over. At that time, I understood that life isn’t always filled with happiness, and that the idea of a family member going out of reach from us just brings depression.
Death can strike a person’s happiness faster than lightning, and just drain all the hope and happiness that ever existed. On the morning of June 29th, I woke up out of bed, and my mom was just sitting idle with frazzled hair, worn-out eyes, and a pale face on the corner of her bed.  At first, I tried calling her, and she didn’t respond. I kept on calling her repeatedly and there was no response and I was petrified, so I slowly approached her and began to shake her and then she looked at me in the eyes. In her eyes, I saw a sense of grief, loss, and emptiness, and I deciphered that it’s over. My grandfather had passed away and stole the completeness in our family. Unusually, a single tear did not crawl upon my cheek, because, I was just completely appalled, that I went straight back to my room and stared at the floor, while everything that I hoped for begun to reappear in my memory. All the small moments that didn’t seem very significant for me in the past, were now valued more than anything, because a human that had the most golden aspect in the world, ‘life’, now just became dead material on earth for the tiny critters to feed on. In addition to that, I also began to worry about the large disconnect that my grandfather and I shared. From now on, I am not able to visit India and see my grandpa’s mischievous smiles, or go on long walks with him, and stay up late watching movies with him. But most important of all, not only did I lose my grandfather, but my dad had lost his father as well, and I didn’t have the courage to talk to my dad because of his emotional instability that he would be experiencing at the moment. Later that day, my mom had given me the phone, and told me that it was “grandma” and I was in a very conflicted state of mind, that I felt very dismal to talk to her.  After I started talking to her, I sensed chills in her voice, and hopelessness as she spoke, because she lost the love of her life and a man that is very dear to her, who knew everything about her, and cared for her very much. She continued to whimper, that it began to concern me that she would not be able to slowly forget it easily. Consequently, I closed myself from my family, and began to ponder deeply whenever I was alone, and at times I would just get random memories flying in my head about my grandfather and I would begin shedding tears arbitrarily. But, my mom and sister were there to comfort me, and told me that my grandpa has just gone to a better place in the world, but my obstinate mind was reluctant to accept that, and I continued to mourn. Eventually, my dad returned from India after all my grandfather’s funeral, and I that’s when I saw my dad in the eyes after a very long time. Most definitely, his eyes lost that gleam, and his entire body looked very exhausted and he seemed very lonely and frustrated, so I gave him his space and resorted to loneliness myself.  Afterwards, I was determined that I needed to cheer up my dad, and I forced myself to view my grandfather’s death from and optimistic perspective and trust that he has gone to heaven a better and safer place with god. 
The phrase “moving on” is a major part of life, because everything does not go the way expected, and there can be unavoidable circumstances that just need to be accepted and slowly forgotten.  Although the hardness still existed in my heart, I decided to move on from the loss of my grandfather by convincing myself that he had reached a better place, and is now looking down at us. I perceive his disappearance with an optimistic outlook, hoping that he would always be there for me and guide me throughout life. Ultimately, the death of my grandfather had only physically separated us from each other, but still in my heart we both coexist and share an eternal bond awaiting the future that is yet to come, together.