Most of the time my expression is one of a beaten dog. Whenever the world changes, in better or in worse, my face does the same, and most of the time it seems to change for the worse.

As a young man living in a middle-class family in Switzerland opportunities as well as education and wealth are not missing; but those are not the important things in life. The only thing I care about is having a smile on my face the moment I die.

It was the last day of school and I remember exactly what I was doing, I was staring at the wall clock in my classroom willing the world to spin faster. Since it was not working I decided to entertain myself with other pastimes, I chose the one that I use more frequently and therefore the one in which I had developed a talent. The game consisted in imagining a reality in which I was content and satisfied more than miserable and depressed. Since the result of such activity was unlikely to change I always knew what was coming. Protecting myself from the accusatory looks of my teacher I had to precisely time when to close my eyes, and every time I did so I was able to see something marvellous. I saw a vast and open future in which I was who I wanted to be. Opening and closing my eyes I could switch between worlds. Then, when I kept my eyes opened and saw the real me, and the real things that filled my days, tears started streaming down my face.

Hour after hour of that painful activity and I could not take any more; I was mocking and cursing myself and others, like a big baby whose candies have just been stolen. My head and my heart both overfilled with too many dreams and emotions they could no longer contain. I felt I had to either explode or escape, and even though the first option had served me well for many years my destiny wanted me to do otherwise.
A few moments remained before the last ring of the bell. Like a boxer whose last match has just been fought, I was charging the shout of victory along with my companions, waiting for the last sound of the last bell. We were almost there!
For the first time in a long time I glimpsed the opportunity of finally being nothing but happy. No more I had to live the life which accompanied me for three years, and no more I had to overcharge my brain and my mind with useless notions; I had the opportunity to change how things looked, but most importantly I had the opportunity to rely on my dreams instead of relying on my sad reality!

School was over, and just like Charlie Bucket when he found the golden ticket, I ran as fast as I could to my home, while doing so my face was an explosion of joy, for the first time in a long time the sun was in the sky and it was the brightest ever!

Once home there was nothing to say to my family, no text to send to my friends; there was only one thing in my mind. Gently and calmly I entered my room, unbuttoned my shirt, untied my tie and took off my shoes, all this for the only purpose of lying in my bed and staring at nothing. I was completely disconnected, no thoughts, no plans and no worries, all this because for the first time in a long time I could afford to do nothing; and I was happy.

Vacations aside, the important things were happening while I was at home, for too long during these three years I have seen my dreams scramble and vanish while I had to do something else, but now the world as well as my destiny were in my hands and I wanted to do something of myself. For weeks after the end of the school I felt omnipotent, completely in control of everything and completely aware of who I was.

For my dreams to be followed I had to work hard and I wanted to. The first step of doing so was beginning the chase of my dream and so I sat down on my piano stool and began to play. I could no longer deny my passion for music, thanks to my newly conquered freedom I was able to understand what my life should have been about, that music was the core, the centre. After each song I played I felt more and more like the protagonist of my daily dreams in the old school-days.

In this anxious joy my father entered my room and pronounced my death sentence, it was something so simple and cheap but yet the saddest thing I could hear: “Do you have the registration form for next year?”.

I fell down my dreams and hit my heart, I started crying; and just like a man whose death sentence has just been proclaimed I softly and barely said: “There is no escape”.