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back then
After having lived in the same neighborhood for your whole life you begin to feel like you will be able to go back to that place where your childhood started and ended. Back to the bigger house you were used to, the familiar faces that surrounded you, the area that you knew like the back of your hand and to the friendly, elderly neighbors who lived next to you. This place for me would be my mom’s house.
A home full of such vivid memories, both traumatic and joyful. Life is different for everybody; however, we all are birthed into this world and we all die out of this world. This creates a traumatic feeling for me, knowing this is the place my mom battled cancer for so long and where she would take her last breath. At the same time it is also the place my brothers and I grew up, made friends and called home for almost twenty years.
My mom was not only a mom to me, but, to a lot of people that were close to me. The days when my mom was around and my parents were together were some of the better days in my life. As time goes on though relationships change, altercations occur and parents get divorced. To top it off, there was this battle between cancer and my mom, which doesn’t just affect my mom herself but all of us as a whole. So now when I think about my childhood and where I grew up I cannot help but have even stronger emotions towards it, both love and hate.
I learned so much growing up at my mom’s house. I mean how could I not, having lived there for almost 18 years? There are two that stand out to me the most. We had a deep pool that was always in constant use day and night. This is where I learned to develop my swimming skills that I cherish to this day, being a lifeguard and all. Also, my mom’s boyfriend drove a car with manual transmission, which I was always fascinated with.
The day I got my license I told myself my first car would be a stick. Terry taught me the basics to drive it. The clutch was what I needed to get used to. It took a lot of killing the car and frustration to get it down but I finally managed to do it. The feeling of achievement will never get old. It just goes to show we are capable of just about anything if we put our minds to it.
Growing up isn’t all its made out to be. As a little kid I remember all my worries were of the littlest things. When my days were waking up at my moms house and wondering what I was going to do for fun that day. Whether it were playing on the swingset, jumping off the roof on to our trampoline or playing kickball in the court with my friends.
If there is one thing I have learned about losing people in life, its that it changes you. It has most definitely made me a stronger person. I wish I could have it all back. The times when both my parents were together, the house and when my mom was around. I have learned not to take things for granted and to cherish what means most to you, which, to me, is family. However, It is time to put that all in the past. It is time to move on to the next part of my life and see what else is in store for me.
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