“It’s a disgrace to have a black president”. Marco’s statement yanked me from my wandering thoughts starring into Lake Ohrid and caused my mouth to involuntarily gape. The other Americans also stared in shock at our Macedonian friend’s comment. We sat in silence, struggling to find a response. Finally, I mustered up a measly “You shouldn’t say things like that.”
In the summer before senior year, I spent five weeks in Skopje, Macedonia. I had been chosen as a student representative of Tempe, Arizona, and knew the honor my trip carried with it. As I prepared for my trip to Macedonia, I learned important cultural practices and common phrases to familiarize myself with the culture. I expected to stay in a country rich with history, food, and old-world wisdom, vaguely resembling the 2002 indie classic “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”. What I got: a country full of history, delicious food, unique wisdom, and a complete intolerance of other cultures, religions, and races.
As I sat on the couch watching CNN cover the Supreme Court’s ruling on Obamacare, my “mamo” bustled in and out of the tiny apartment hanging up clothes and occasionally glancing at the TV. Later that night, she came up to me and asked, “Since your president is a black, does he only care about other Negros?”
With intense discomfort from her question, I tried to explain that President Obama did not favor one race or ethnicity over another when he was forming government policy. Not really buying my answer she simply said, “Blacks shouldn’t have power, they will only help themselves.”
After consistent exposure to allergens, children and young adults can develop severe allergies. Subsequently, encounters with these irritants are deliberately avoided and feared. Such allergies are common afflictions within Macedonia and surrounding Balkan countries. Since the 1990s breakup of Yugoslavia, each country represents specific ethnic groups. These people have been oppressed from one empire to the next, and treat difference with suspicion and hostility. Within their country, there is a cultural divide between the ethnic Macedonians and Albanians. Although Albania is a separate country, many ethnic Albanians choose to live in cultural hubs within Macedonia. The animosity between the two groups has grown since their 2001 military conflict, and they are constantly at odds. There was never a moment when Albanians were pictured in positive light to me. I was ordered to treat all Albanians with suspicion and disgust. Whenever we would go to the Turkish Bazaar, I was transported centuries back to afternoon coffees with friends and bartering leather shoes for spices. It was enchanting. However, my mamo only saw shops run by sleazy Albanians and overbearing Turks. I was always instructed to tightly clutch my purse and never buy anything before she checked the fairness of the offer. While her wisdom was practical, the underlying prejudice she lived by made my stomach turn.
I never expected to learn a lesson in diversity that summer. I was used to the politically correct, multicultural United States, and was surprised to find out Europe was not the same way. Without diversity, intolerance is unavoidable. In fact, this isn’t an issue unique to ethnically homogenous countries throughout Europe. There are towns and neighborhoods everywhere around the world suffering some sort of ethnic uniformity, either accidental or deliberate. If you never see people different from you, it is easy to negatively stereotype them and classify them as the “other.” It becomes easy to sicken surrounding children with racial slurs and to impress intolerant opinions upon their developing minds. Left untreated, these allergies can carry into adulthood, and limit empathy for others.
As I sat at home hearing insults like “Albanians are animals” and “don’t trust people in head scarves and little hats,” the message started planting roots. I began to view non-Macedonians with distrust, and felt relief when we weren’t in their dominated parts of town. Originally allergy free, the pollen of other cultures was causing my nose to run and the occasional sneeze. While not yet severe, I hated the effects of the intolerance, and needed to actively resist further exposure. I tried to treat my “sister’s” stories about the scummy Albanians with doubt, like how they will steal your cellphone, or attack you after dark. The prejudice mainly stemmed from their religious differences. Macedonians are Orthodox Christian and Albanians are Muslim. This dislike of Islam was not just reserved for Albanians, when I asked my mamo about Bosnians, a neighboring ethnicity, she simply answered, “They’re nice, but, you know, they’re Muslim.”
This blatant and forward answer demonstrated the difference between my “family” and me. While I was raised to feel shame for treating people as “others”, even if I had real prejudices or not, these people saw no issue sharing their views outright. The absence of a social filter created a judgmental environment that hindered children’s growth during influential times.

Tolerance is the easiest form of empathy. It does not require you to agree or like what another person is or believes. It merely asks that you prevent it from dictating how you interact with others. People are not like caricatures, and it is vital to stop seeing people only through stereotypes. Once you are able to work together, people can start to see each other’s perspectives. No matter who is right, it doesn’t hurt anyone to get a healthy injection of empathy. This dose can work to counteract your allergy by implanting your system with someone else’s perspective.

Macedonia will always hold a special place in my heart as a warm country that was eager to welcome me. I appreciate their tolerance of a picky American teenager, and hope they can move past their previous misconceptions of their neighbors. Whether I am home or away, I will strive to practice the lessons of tolerance learned there, and treat people with compassion. Maybe with this attitude, I can help bring people together, instead of keeping them apart.