Dear Dewey,

I’ve really been starting to miss you. I have so much to say, but I don’t know how to say it. I really want you to know that I prayed for you so much, but I guess it wasn’t meant to be. I hope you know that everything we did for you was us trying to help. The whole family loves and misses you so much!

I wanted to thank you for sending me a message to let me know you’re okay up in heaven. I was worrying about if you were okay or not, and the song “Angel” (from those ASPCA commercials) starts playing on the radio. It made me happy to know you are in the arms of an angel, but I still wish you were down here, in our arms.

I loved the messages you sent to Emily and Laura too. For Emily, you sent her a little hello at her work. She was taking the order for a gift card, and the woman on the phone said the last name was Dewey. For Laura, you flashed on the screen of my iPod while she was on it.

Please don’t feel abandoned by us. We really tried to save you. I think of you up in heaven, happier than you’ve ever been. Though when I think of that, I feel like we didn’t give you a good life down here. You only got to be down here a year and one week. You were so young; I wish I could reverse time and stop you from eating that sock.

I’m really glad though, that when you went, you went peacefully. Even though it was through surgery, all you did was fall asleep, it was painless. I just wish I could have been there, just to say goodbye. We’re keeping your collar and some of your hair, as a remembrance, but I know we’ll never forget you.

One of the hardest parts is; I feel like you’re still at the vet, waiting to come home. Then I remember; you’re already in your permanent home, heaven. I continue to miss you, and I realize I won’t get to be with you for about 85 years. That’s so long away, but Max, our other dog, will be with you in about 2 years. Once the family’s up there, we’ll never be separated again.

I hope you’re not alone up there, but I’m sure you’ve made new friends. Maybe you’re with Uncle Billy, who died when he was four from appendicitis. I think he would love to have you. And maybe you have a group of the dogs’ dad and mom had growing up.

I’m miss so many things about you, having you wake me up in the morning, or lying on the couch by me. Max lies by us, but nobody can replace you. I regret ever calling you an idiot or stupid, but we never really meant it. I should have cherished the time we had together more because once it’s gone it’s gone. You’ll never be here again.

I know you’re not suffering anymore, and the scars from your surgeries are gone. I just wish you were down here still, but not suffering. All I want is for you to be happy. Even though you’re gone, you’re still here somehow. I know you’re watching over us, missing us.

I hope you’ll always remember us. I know we’ll have your hair around the house for a while. ;) We all wish you were still here with us, but I know you’re better and safer up in heaven. When I get up there, I’ll play with you right away. I love you and I’ll always miss you <3.