It was Sanctity of Life Sunday 2013 and we were in church just like every other Sunday morning. If you don’t know what Sanctity of life Sunday is, it’s a day that is set aside to honor that all life, from the moment of conception is sacred and, therefore has the right to live. This day is significant in our story because it was the beginning of a life changing journey that started with a mother who chose life for her unborn child.

I was sitting in the pew like normal waiting for church to start. Our family friend Michelle was sitting behind us talking to my mom, when I overheard the words “Amber is putting the baby up for adoption when he is born, they are picking a family in two days.” You could not believe how fast my mom flipped her head towards my dad, “we have to talk to her today!”. After church my mom sprinted to find Karla (Amber’s mom). She asked her if they could meet and talk about whether or not they would consider choosing us as the adoptive family. It was a long shot, but it was worth the try.

We felt like it was never going to work and it would never go through. My parents had tried adopting for years before but it never worked out. If you own an in-home daycare (my mom does) you cannot adopt from the state. It had always been my parents dream to adopt. They had prayed for years to be able to. My mom had always had a feeling that the right circumstance would come along. She knew that our family wasn’t complete. It was a long and tiring wait and it just seemed like every road lead to a dead end, until that day!

When Amber met with us we asked her so many questions. She was about seven months pregnant and she didn’t know where his birth father resided anymore. We asked her important questions too like if she had taken drugs while she was pregnant, she said she hadn’t. Amber also has a little boy who at that time was about the age of two named Cameron, who I love as if he is my own brother. She also has another little boy who lives with his father. Before she left she let us know she had a couple more families to meet with, and she would call and let us know her decision in a few days. It was a waiting game. I’m pretty sure my mom had her phone connected to her hip until the day she got the call that we would be expecting a baby boy in 6 short weeks. That was an even harder waiting game. As my mom put it, “it’s like I sent my child away to summer camp, and I’m just waiting for him to come home.”

The first part of the process was having a home study done. A sweet lady named Caroline came to our house and asked us all kinds of questions about our life, our past, and our families. She had to be very thorough and precise, after all it was her final decision if we were fit to adopt Deacon. She visited with us several times before Deacon was born and then a few afterward. He won her heart just like he does with everyone he meets. Caroline is still a family friend to this day and loves to hear about how Deacon is growing.

I went to a lot of the doctors appointments. I never did see the ultrasound, but let me tell you she was HUGE! The doctor kept saying that he would be around nine pounds. It took so long for him to come, she was almost 2 weeks overdue by the time she went into labor. I remember that night like it was yesterday. We went and visited her that evening. My mom was rubbing her belly and talking to Deacon. She told Amber that it felt like she was having contractions and sure enough she was! We went to the hospital and they got worse as the night drug on. They sent her home thinking that she wasn’t ready, but we knew that Deacon would be born that night. We all went home and showered and then went back to their house. We drove back up to the hospital again and she stayed that time. It took forever! I remember that we got a room to sleep in until she was ready to go. I got to be in the room when he was born (not a fun experience), it really impacted me though getting to see my little brother come into the world, although it wasn’t really my thing. It was a rough labor, Deacon was so big that they had to jump on Amber's belly to get him out because his shoulders were stuck (which broke his collarbone). When he was born he weighed 10 lbs. 1 ounce and was 22 inches long, He was born on the morning of Saturday, March 24, 2013. It was a day I will always remember not just because my little brother was born, but because I got to be in the room when my little brother was brought into the world. That’s something that not very many people my age get to go through. I can say that it has made me second guess having children myself.

When he was born he had a skin condition that they thought was staph infection. His skin kind of looked like it was peeling off. Immediately they took him to Columbia to get him looked at in case it was anything severe. They brought an ambulance from the Childrens Hospital and loaded him into a box for the ride. It was kind of scary to see your little brother who I already loved more than anything have to leave like that. My parents made arrangements for my sister and I to stay with various family members until they would be back and then they headed to be with my brother. When they got to Columbia they had no rights to Deacon because all of the legal paperwork had been written up for the Rolla hospital. Since it was a Saturday morning nothing could be done, my parents had to stay up there until Monday morning when the paperwork could be fixed. They still spent every moment with Deacon while we waited for them to get home. He was in the NICU, which was kind of ironic since he was ten pounds and surrounded by babies who were anywhere from one to two pounds. The nurses loved to love on such a fat little baby, since they hardly ever got to do that. They joked that they were worried he might eat the preemies. While it gave my parents some extra one-on-one time to bond with Deacon, Monday could not come fast enough!

When he, got home we all loved him to death, he was the sweetest boy in the world. All he really did was sleep, but it was still a huge adjustment. In my family, we are used to just living by the seat of our pants and coming and going as we please. Now that had totally changed. It is much harder to do anything when a baby is involved. But the reward of watching this little man grow is worth more than any trip to anywhere! I love watching him grow still today.

When you adopt you have to wait 6 months for the adoption to be final, that was another waiting game. It took longer because they had to search for his birth father, who was in prison at that point. He refused to sign over his rights which was kind of a headache, but in the end everything worked out. After the 6 month wait, on October 4th, 2012 we got up early that morning and put on our Sunday best. Even baby D (which is what we call him) was looking snazzy. We were the first ones to have our “court date”. We got to sit at a table in front of a judge and answer questions; it was very scary and exciting all at once. I had never been to something that felt so official. Deacon sat on the table and smiled cooed at everyone, and my sister and I had to sit very still and quiet.

Some of our closest family members came with us to court that day and watched it become official. It was a great and sad day all in one. Since my Grandpa White had passed away just a couple of months earlier, it was sad that he didn’t get to be a part of the day. He always worried that something would happen and we wouldn’t be able to adopt Deacon after all. I bet he was smiling down from Heaven that day, and still is today seeing how well Deacon fits with our family the way our whole family loves him. After it was official, we took pictures with everyone from the judge (who we had for every court date), to our lawyer, and Deacon’s guardian ad litem. It was such an awesome thing to get to be a part of. All the months of worry and stress were over and Deacon was officially part of our family. It was definitely a day to be written in the family history book!

After a few months he started to get kind of sick with allergies, or at least that’s what we thought. We had/have no medical history on his birth father’s side, who is currently in prison. We found out that Amber had tried to terminate the pregnancy herself early on by taking pills and drinking, which caused harm to his nervous system while he was still in her stomach. It seems he is overcoming this problem.

Being a big sister at the age of 16 is awesome, although it was really weird at first. I mean the first time I was a big sister I was still little and not really old enough to know what was going on. I get to watch my little brother grow into someone I'm not only going to be extremely proud of, but someone that I will always love with all of my heart. I’ll get to do so much fun stuff with him and give him “big sister advice”. I know with all of my heart no matter what he decides to do with his life, one day I will be so proud of him and support him in it. I always try to be a big help to my parents. I watch Deacon when they go to the store or want a date night out. I love being able to do those things. And truthfully it feels great to be loved by such an amazing little man! He is quite fond of both of his big sisters and we feel the same way in return!

The biggest question we get about adopting is, “Are you going to tell him he is adopted?”. Dumb, right? I mean its obvious that we are going to tell him since he isn't the same color as us. We just haven’t decided how we will tell him. I’m sure when the time comes it will all come to us, but at this point we don’t really have to worry about it. Another rude question that I got a couple months ago is, “Why did you guys adopt Deacon, he will never be loved the same as you and Molly?” My response to that is my parents love all of us equally neither Molly or I get more or less treatment than Deacon does. Why pick on a helpless not even one year old. If you truthfully think about it, he is in a much better home right now. If he was with his birth mom he wouldn't have the things he has, not the things he needs to live and be a healthy baby. We support him and care for him. He will get the right schooling and he will always have a team of supporters behind him. That’s something that not a lot of people realize because they only see it the way they want to. That’s when I realized people are going to talk bad about us for adopting and I'm not really sure why, but they can talk all they want because I know the truth and that is all that matters.

I am so thankful that Amber made the ultimate unselfish sacrifice as a mother and let us adopt Deacon. If you were to think about it like that you would understand how much of a blessing he truly is. God had a plan that He knew would work in the end. God always has a plan. We may not always know it, but he has one. God could have a huge plan for Deacon. He has already changed our lives in so many ways but I know he will change our lives in many more ways too.

After Deacon was born we really thought that Amber was on track to get her life in order. We still attend church with her and still have a personal relationship. We found out about 5 months after Deacon was born that she was pregnant again. We weren’t sure at that time if she was going to try to raise this baby or choose adoption for him too. We were in contact with a family who, like us, has always wanted to adopt. We were just waiting to hear word on her choice. Since her and my mom have a close relationship, when she told us that she was going to be choosing adoption we put her in contact with the Well’s family. We already knew that they would be a wonderful family for this baby. Meetings went great and Amber chose them as the adoptive family.

Lincoln was born almost 2 weeks before Deacon turned one. He was the cutest little chubby baby boy and his family was instantly in love. We went to the hospital to visit when he came. It brought back all of the feelings we had almost a year before when we were going through the exact same thing. The Wells family is made up of Darla and Jon (mom and dad), and three kids. Addie, who is 12, Micah, who is 14, and Brayden, who is 15. They, like us have learned what a blessing it is to have a baby brother as a teenager. Lincoln fits into their family just as well as Deacon fits in ours.

Now Lincoln is almost one and he is just as spunky as Deacon! My mom babysits him, so we have two little brothers running around here all day. It is so funny to see the two boys from different homes have so many similarities. They have this special connection that only biological siblings could have. We always joke that they are brothers with different mothers. We are so excited to see what it will be like when they grow up. We have a feeling that they will both be playing football when they are able. They are both giants!

This journey was long and drawn out, or so it seemed. In the end everything was worth it. We have a funny, happy, loving, and crazy little boy, who we could not love any more. He has a great personality. He is always smiling and happy and he gives the sweetest little kisses. Before we adopted him I could have never imagined having a baby brother, but now I couldn't imagine life without a him. He is going to be sporty, or at least thats what I feel. If you stand in his door and watch him play, he is either jumping on his trampoline or shooting hoops. Deacon’s adoption has impacted our family in more ways than I could count. The biggest way is that we are blessed beyond belief!!

When we are able to tell our story it has such a huge impact on people. Not only does it give people hope, but it is also a way for us to show that if you have patience and wait for God’s perfect timing, then if it’s in His will and you show obedience, He will make it happen. We can only credit being able to adopt Deacon to God. The way that it all happened can only be explained at a “God wink”.

Adoption has forever impacted my life and I could not imagine a world without it. There are so many different ways to adopt. Overseas, older children, through the state, private adoption, family adoptions. I am sure every adoption comes with a story, but I am not so sure that they are all as amazing as ours. I like to think that ours is the best one out there!

I just wish that everyone had the chance to feel what I feel for this little boy. He is such a miracle and blessing all wrapped up in one. When I am playing with him or just watching him, my heart is swollen with love. I love to show him off and teach him new things. When I think about the future all I can picture is this big, tall, handsome guy wrapping his arms around his big sister and letting me know how much he loves me. At this point I could never and don’t ever want to imagine a life without Deacon in it!