Today I found out my best friend does drugs.

It was an accident, I swear. I turned on one of my old computers. And almost as an instinct, I typed "Facebook" into the search box. And there, her facebook was already opened. I laughed, thinking she was such an idiot for not logging out. I considered changing her status update to something like "I love poop." Or "Just got my dream job as a stripper. Hallelujah." And then, a message popped up in the bottom.

So sick :) We should do it together some time.

And there, right above, was a picture of my dear friend doing drugs. And it killed me inside.

Maybe it's not such a big deal, and maybe it won't matter ten years down the road, but it matters now. Because she did it. And I feel like it was my fault.

She asked me about it several times, looking for advice. She told me she was afraid her new boyfriend was influencing her. And she didn't know how to say no.

"Make a decision now." I would tell her. "Just right now you need to decide whether you'll ever do it. And once you make that decision, nothing can stop you."

I thought her decision was "No." And I guess I was wrong.

People are unpredictable because life is unpredictable. Everyone has something to hide, and sometimes they open up to you, and sometimes they don't, and sometimes people lie and sometimes people tell the truth. But eventually, one realizes, you're alone. But maybe you're alone because that's where you're supposed to be.

And often being alone is associated with being sad. Being depressed is easy. It's being happy that's difficult. You decide which is worth it, my friend.