The day my world stopped spinning was the day I lost my father and the day I found my true self.

February 28th 2010, I remember this day like it was yesterday a curse but yet a blessing at the same time. I recall waking up from a deep sleep to my mom waking me up to get ready to go. Getting dressed I throw on a black V- neck and shorts, I’m ready to go.

We get in the car and my mom treats me to breakfast, I turn to her and tell her “Mom, todays the day” she knew what she I meant.

Sitting at the table eating then suddenly I feel my phone vibrating. Looking at my phone and the number I see was the number I would always see after my baseball, football and basketball games my father’s number I hand the phone to my mother whose eyes had already knew what was happening.

Rushing out of the restaurant and into the car I remember looking out the window and not seeing trees or cars I remember seeing all the memories I had with my father every time he taught me something, every time he would hug me.

I arrived at my grandmother’s house scared even though I knew what had happened. Everybody in the house was crying it was an experience; I never want to see again.

Walking into the room I see my dad’s lifeless body on a bed I go to him and hold his cold hand, I tried warming it with mine as if it was going to bring him back. Talking to him waiting for him to speak back to me, I had spent a half an hour just talking to him alone.
People started to show up to give their condolences; personally I didn’t care for them. The words they said didn’t affect me “I’m sorry” “He’s in a better place now” I always here these words and to this day they have no meaning to me.

People came and the left, people I’ve never seen in my life and those who I only saw once in a while.

The people from hospice came to pick up my father’s body I sat on the stairwell and watched as the picked him up put him on a gurney and covered his body with a green blanket and placed a red rose on his body. This image has been stuck in my mind and I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.

This was the moment where I questioned my beliefs in god, I asked why me? What did I do to deserve this? I still question to this day but I know now this event has had an impact on my life. Before what did I live for? What did I play sports for?

Every day I make my father proud I continue his legacy I am reflect on him but at the same time I reflect on him.

I could have quit it all; I could have given up and not cared anymore.

Writing this memoir was really hard because I realized everything I went through and how it has changed my life, I know its cliché but don’t take anything for granted because you don’t know when it’s gone.