We’re ridding in the car on our way to the airport. I’m sitting in the back seat of the car with my brother Adam, listening to music, and looking out the window. Every single ten minutes, I’m asking, “Are we there yet? How much longer? I have to pee! I need food!” Or something stupid and random to make them go faster, but its not working out too good for me. I just sit back and try not to spaz out, wishing I could drive myself to New York! Nanny doesn’t seem to be as much in a hurry as I am since she’s not driving very fast. But they always say, “You’re only twelve, you don’t know how to drive yet.

It’s my first trip to New York, and I’m so happy, but my Nanny (grand maw), and Paw (grand paw) are telling me about how the airport’s security is cracking down after that one day-- just one day.


In my head, I’m planning out my perfect trip. They don’t ever listen to me, so I don’t even bother telling them because I’m the youngest, and the youngest child never gets what they want.

I’ve already told them a million times, but I say it again: “I don’t care what we do, but if I don’t get to go the hole then this trip will be nothing for me. So that is it, first thing we do in the morning is what I want to do! Please and thank you. Well I take that back I gotta eat first.”

Nanny just looks at me and paw wakes up from is im not asleep i’m just closing my eyes thing he dose every time we go somewhere. In his I don’t care what you think voice he says “WE will do what ever WE want whenever WE want to do it! Its not your money that is gettin spent now is it?!”

“Well geez aint no point in getting all pissey about it, now is there. All I was sayin is that I want to go really bad” I just tune him out after that and turn up my music. Soon after that get kicked in the leg by my stupid brother and he’s yelling at me right in the face saying “get up were here!”

I’m thinking, like did I miss the plane ride? How did I get all the way to NYC and not realize it. I open my eyes and realize that I’m at the airport, and I feel so stupid but you know it’s a blonde thing.

We walk through the million security things and all the metal detectors. I was just a little intimidated by the time I got to my terminal, there was not only a bunch of people with guns but also creepers looking at me! Not just nt creepers but people with funky hair, and then people that just give you that plane out weird felling as you walk past them.

I walk through this hallway that has wheels and feels like carpet on the walls and up some steps and to the plane, I find out that I’m not a window seat! I was pretty ticked! Here’s a 4 hour plane ride stuck between an old fat guy that got my window seat and my brother, what a great plane ride. Not! I decided that I’m just going to be a happy little camper and sit between 2 people that really bother me and just watch wedding crashers and doodle.

The stewardess calls over the intercom and they say that we can get off; thank goodness I’m the first person off. The stewardess looks at me like mhhmmm alright then.
We’re finely here, and I’m ready to go to the hotel and get some sleep. We do just that and get room service and I get some amazing pizza.

It’s early in the morning my paw has all the lights on in the room! This is the normal for him. I just roll over and put the covers and pillow over my head.

It feels like five minutes ago I had that horrible light shining in my eyes, and now I’ve got someone trying to fold me up in my pullout couch. I kick down the bed and yell “WHAT DO YOU WANT! I’M TRYIN’ TO SLEEP!”

Adam is kicking me and yelling back, “Get u,p we’re going to the hole, you have five minutes to get ready!”


I jump out of bed and go get all my warm clothes on since they’re calling for snow. I mean everything: the handy dandy long johns, he Under Armor undershirt, two long sleeve shirts, jeans, my boots, and my big blue Carhart! Ahh! I feel like an Abdominal Snowman!

We’re walking down the streets, and we look like dumb hicks from the south. Oh I forgot we are! We get in a cab and tell him to take us to the hole. He just looked at us and sai,d “No one that’s not around here doesn’t even know what The Hole is.”
Nanny says, “Well, my granddaughter has said nothing except the hole since we have planned our trip.”

After getting slung all over that yellow car, he finally says, “You’re here.”
I jump out and just look. “We’re not here,” I say.
“Well you have to walk. They won’t let us drive up there,” the driver says.

Off I go my walk to go see the only thing I care about on this trip. We have to walk six blocks and up to a gate.

I look around and tears just pour down my face. I’m looking at all these pictures of people who are missing and dead: posters, papers of people -- helpless people who were doing nothing that day but working. Tears fall even more as I ask for a tissue I can feel the salty tears run into my mouth.


I can feel someone behind me, a woman who lost her husband in the first tower. She says “Did you know anyone that was in them?”
I reply, “No, I didn’t. I don’t even know why I’m crying.”

“Its ok sweetheart, you’re heartless if you don’t cry when you enter this place.”
“I’m so sorry, but I have to go, I’m so sorry for your loss I reply”

As I walk through a gate and to another fenced area, there are people crying everywhere. I’m thinking to myself these people have lost so much, and I havn't lost anything compared to some of these people.

I walk around the area all alone and just look at this hole in the ground where two buildings stood where so many people are buried at under that entire ruble. The tears come back this time even worse.

There are more posters this time I see crosses with flowers and candles around them. People kneeling beside these pictures crying and yelling wanting to know what happened to their son, their daughter, husband, wife, or their family.

I look down this hole with my face pressed against this cold, wet fence. I notice flowers, a ball, toys, and letters from families that have lost someone so dear to there heart.

As I gaze at this hole with so much in it-- so many objects that the families have dropped in the hole-- I think to myself, what if that was my family? What if my grandparents would have booked their first trip two hours earlier? That could have been my family dead, gone, and would have never returned home. Adam and I wouldn’t have anyone. So many blessings came to my family that day, a relief came to me the day that I was sitting in kindergarten, and I got called up to the office to get checked out. I kept thinking, sitting on the floor looking up at the TV is that my family? Are they dead? I remember that day clear as all get out, all these thoughts and questions just scrambling through my head.

I walk back towards my family, and I think to myself why would this happen to such good families, poor innocent people who had no idea what was going on.

So your “crises” are nothing compared to these families crises!
As I walked out, I got a new perspective on life, and my life has never been the same. I count my blessings twice and think about how people have it worse than me.

If only everyone in America, or better yet the world have a point of view that I do it wouldn’t be the same place that we know now as our “home,” our ”nation.”