A place that’s a blessing to all humanity. A place where all your love can fly through the air and be engulfed by all its happiness and joy. This place is a mirror, which your reflection appears before your eyes. You look closer and sympathy tears begin to fall pone your face. “Grandpa, even though I didn’t know you very well, you are still in my heart forever. I cant seem to let you go, or sore above the clouds, but I need to. Grandpa this is the place that your heart and body desires to be left in peace.”





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I cant seem to let him fly, when the wind picks up and rushes through my hair, nipping the end of my nose, like that song with the verse “Jack Frost nipping at your nose.” I stand there and look at Mirror Lake, one of the two lakes beneath Snowy Range Mountain, and think. As far back as I can remember I grew up with those mountains, they were where I always wanted to be, all day every day no matter the weather. I went up there every day with my dad to go fish, well most of the time I would just run around. Climb the chilly rocks, smell the wondrous vanilla trees, sit in the green meadows and smell the flowers with butterflies flying about.

It turns out that my Grandpa grew up with them too. I had no clue till the day of his funeral, not very fancy, but good enough to give me the creeps. My Grandpa, Carl Engler Jr. , was a wondrous man of adventure, happiness, love of his grandchildren, love for the mountains and the nature they carried, and most of all his hunting and fishing activities. Then he got sick, very sick, he caught westnile, and lost most of his memory and didn’t really know what to do. The first time I ever got to meet my Grandpa he was located in a nursing home in Cozad, Nebraska. His face really pale, like a ghost, his hair crazy, like Einstein’s, and a lot of confusion going through his mind, like rubixs cube. “Hey dad its me Deb, your daughter.” my mom tells my grandpa trying to reimburse his memory.
“O hi Debbie, how are you doing? Who is this beautiful little girl here with you today?”
“ Dad, this is your granddaughter Haven.” My mom brakes through his mind with the word granddaughter. I can remember his blue eyes looking at me like a new toy a kid just got.

“Hi.” I say to him trying to spark up a conversation, but he just stands there and looks at me. He returns talking to my mother without saying a word to me. I stand there wondering what I did wrong for him not to talk to me, I mean I’m his granddaughter here, not a wall. Once my mom and my grandpa finish talking he looks at me once again with those blue eyes, “It was nice meeting you young lady, do good k.” my grandpa says to me as we are walking out the door.





?

“Mommy, what did you and grandpa talk about?”
“O nothing really, just some stuff that we need to take care of.”
“Like what stuff?”
“Just stuff Haven, okay.” My mom snaps back at me like I was in trouble or something.

My mind wondered all the way home after my mom told me “stuff we need to take care of,” the thoughts start to go out into the air of the car filling all the space forcing me to roll down the car window. Fresh air of the flat lands, it would be so much more fresh and spectacular in the mountains. I keep wondering about what my mom said, the fresh air is making it easier to think things through. Maybe they were talking about a birthday, or an anniversary, or a celebration of some sort. Then the worst comes to mind, maybe they were talking about grandpa dying since he is so sick, maybe its time for him to go, I don’t know.





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I’m sitting in school having a great day, till lunch when I called my dad asking if mom was picking us up from school. “Hey dad is mom picking us up today?”
“No not today.”
“Then how are we getting home?”
“I will come get you guys.” Dads voice cracks a little in reply. He sniffs and begins to talk again, “ Haven your mom is in Cozad with your grandpa.”
“What? Why?”
“Your grandpa is in the hospital, and its not looking to good.”
“O, umm, I will see you after school. Bye.” I hang up the phone from talking to my dad. I’m petrified at my dads words that came out of his mouth, “your grandpa is in the hospital, and its not looking to good.” I mean I haven’t even gotten to know the guy and now he is laying in his death bed, and in any second he can shut his eyes and never open them again? I stand in the middle of the hallway not caring who or what bumps into me, all that’s going through my mind is why now? Why cant I get to know him first before he goes? The word why kept coming to my mind over and over again.

I see my brother, Dustin, I blink, my eyes flashing the first time I meet him back into mind. I look up and everything went blurry and the tears begin to fall down my face. My brother runs to me taking me in his arms, asking me “What’s wrong? Talk to me Haven.” But nothing comes out besides sounds of weeping and sniffing. “Dustin, Grandpa Engler is in the hospital. Dad said mom left this morning and is in Cozad now. He also said that its not looking to good.”
“What?”
“Ya.” I say back crying even more.





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“What time is mommy going to be home?” I ask my dad, while looking at the floor.
“I’m not sure I think any time.”
“Is she going to be okay?”
“She is going to be fine. Grandpa is a little better, but not much.” my dad says as soon as I hear the garage door opening. I hear the door open with a screeching sound that sent chills up my spine. I go sit on the couch acting normal, so my mom don’t suspect things. “Hi mommy, how is grandpa?”
“He is doing better, but not to much better.”
“o.” I say back a little disappointed of the news. My parents go into the bed room and I hear them talking, but I stay in the living room just in case my mom says something I really don’t want to hear at the moment.

That night my mom tells my brother and I that her and dad are going to leave after they drop us off at school in the morning to go see grandpa. I look at Dustin hoping to see a face of comfort, but he looks more upset than I thought he would get. “Okay, please call me when you find out something new k?” I ask my mom hoping she will say okay I will, but no reply came out.

The next morning my parents drop us off at school and leave as soon as we are out of the car. I look at my brother he smiles at me “Haven everything will be just fine.”
“Okay bro.” I reply back trying to trust his word. Later that day I call my mom at lunch. “ Hi mom, how are things going?”
“They are going good. Grandpa is sleeping now.”
“What do you mean Grandpa is sleeping now?”
“Haven he is sleeping.” my mom says chocking on her words.

I’m sitting at lunch when the information sinks in my mind. I get up look at everyone sitting at the table and walk away. The tears start rolling out when my brother sees me and gets up to come after me. “Haven are you okay?”
“No.”
“What’s all going on?”
“Grandpa is sleeping now.” I manage to say to Dustin without braking down even worse. “It’s time to say good bye now bro. He is sleeping and watching over us.”
“I know sis. Everything is going to be okay.” my brother wraps his arms around me trying to calm me. “Now Grandpa can fly with the winds of Snowy Range forever like he wanted all along.”
“Yes he can. He will be happier than ever when he gets up there.”
“I cant go I wont be able to say good bye.”
“Then don’t say good bye. Tell him see you later when the time is right.”




?


A place that’s a blessing to all humanity. A place where all your love can fly through the air and be engulfed by all its happiness and joy. This place is a mirror, which your reflection appears before your eyes. You look closer and sympathy tears begin to fall pone your face. “Grandpa, even though I didn’t know you very well, you are still in my heart forever. I cant seem to let you go, or sore above the clouds, but I need to. Grandpa this is the place that your heart and body desires to be left in peace. Good Bye for now Grandpa.” I close my eyes and turn away.