I remember the tranquil world of glistening waters and a sandy oasis. I remember this world as summer 2010. I’ll miss the days where I could lay down on the warm sand as the sun kissed my body. I’ll miss the endless nights of staying up late watching HBO until my eyelids could no longer resist the temptation to fall into a serene dream state until the early afternoon. I’ll miss the victorious sound of a bright yellow golf ball rattling against the edges of the hole surrounded by an animated green. I’ll miss the neon-colored nails and the frayed denim shorts. Perhaps, the thing I’ll miss the most is watching the pink and orange tie-dyed sky as the sun disappeared and the day was covered by a black velvety blanket of twinkling stars. This Summerland utopia of mine was stolen away by the dreadful dinging of the morning bell on the first day of school.

So this is it, the scariest most important year of my life. My junior year of high school is here, the year of fear and concern. This is a realization I must cope with everyday as I reluctantly open the heavy doors of my high school and make my way through the bustling halls full of clueless freshmen, enthusiastic sophomores, stressed out juniors, and senioritis-struck seniors. I can feel the world spinning around me without a pause button. Will I be able to hangout with my friends while managing the intense hours of homework? Will our class ever break beyond our barriers and bond together as a unit instead of a cluster of cliques? Questions like these constantly flood my tired mind. I worry about compromising my beliefs and who I am, just to be tolerated in the eyes of my peers. I am so scared that I will lose myself in the paper waves and highlighter suns of junior year.

When I look on the other hand, it’s only full of fear and apprehension. Once school reopens after the lengthy summer vacation, people change faster than the speed of light. They’re like little light switches that are on during the long sunny days, but shut off in the closed stuffy walls of school. People, including myself, are so scared to tear down the walls that they put up for the fear of being judged by each other. Minus the fear of judgment, I must face the fear of being on student council, and the fear of letting down our grade. I’m scared that we will suffer a devastating and embarrassing loss again during spirit week, and that we won’t raise enough money for junior prom. My biggest trepidations are letting people down and being left behind. I feel so much pressure to be “perfect”. I feel like if I make the slightest mistake my world will come crashing down around me and that I will let down all of my family and friends. Being left behind like an abandoned southern town isn’t on the top of my to-do list. To sum up all of my fears and concerns, all I’m asking for is a little slice of acceptance.

Eleventh grade is full of anticipation and anxiety, but it does open up a million doors of infinite opportunities. So many in fact, that it is necessary to start a School Year Resolution list. I hope I can improve our class spirit and inspire people to get involved with different activities at school. I also want to stand on the bleachers in the freezing cold with all of my friends, rooting for the football team. One of the goals high on my list is getting my driver’s license in late February. I also aim to score very well on my SATS and make High Honor Roll all year long, while still having time to do the things I love. While a lot of my goals are small, like doing well in school, expanding my social circle, and finding the perfect prom dress, my main target has been in front of me since freshmen year. My dream is to be on that green turf field, as a starter for the first varsity lacrosse game in the spring. I have been on the varsity and junior varsity girl’s lacrosse teams ever since ninth grade. The upcoming 2011 season will be my seventh year playing, and nothing else will fill my heart up with joy like being a starting varsity athlete in high school. While the summer is drifting away, an exhilarating, yet terrifying, year is placed in front of me. What will happen and where I will go is very much unknown. The only thing I am sure of is that I will do whatever it takes to reinvent some of that famous summer magic, that my heart and mind long for the most.