There are people in the world who are born and immediately you just know they are meant for greatness, meant to change the world. My whole life everyone made me feel that way like I was special and could do whatever I put my mind to. Due to this, my old-school Dominican family put all their hopes and dreams on my shoulders. This intensified the pressure to succeed, there was no margin for error. My family is right, I was born to do great things. I know this to be true because the narcissistic tendencies within me won’t allow me to think otherwise. Despite this, setbacks along the way revealed how unaware I was about the things that make me special and different in more ways than one.

My brain is like a forest in need of trees, animals, and structure for its survival. Capable of attaining all the resources necessary for a successful ecosystem but just like the Amazon there are just wildfires I can't put out. A myriad of trees burning down, animals dying and pollution clouding my inner thoughts preventing my capabilities from being great so badly that I questioned whether my family's words were even true. I worried that maybe the ashes and darkness would be all that's left in my forest after the wildfires. For a moment I thought that was true, as I woke up in that white room laying on a bed like a cocoon, wrapped in thick white sheets. As I shivered and caressed the small bumps around my body a shiny bright light stared back at me so I closed my eyes. At that very moment, I realized the only things left in my forest were darkness and ashes. Thankfully I caught a glimpse of light that gave me hope so that my greatest fear of failure did not come true. 

Knowing how I got there definitely mattered but not as salient as what helped me get well enough to leave. Looney tunes is what I named this place. Where others who were deemed looney like me needed to adjust their own tunes.  I did not blame my family for allowing my forest to burn down to this extent because the notion that people of color are not entitled to the luxury of emotional and mental struggles has been embedded within minority cultures since the beginning of time. Instead, going through the experiences in that white room alone with no support gave me the strength to leave. With the help of many psychiatrists, I was able to adjust my tunes with medication that treats depression, borderline personality disorder, and bipolar disorder. As I took my medication and attended therapy the glimpse of light brightened more and the darkness in my forest was gone, trees grew, colorful flowers bloomed and birds chirped. 

It turns out that my family was right, I was born with a greater purpose to change our world. This experience prepared me for my future and it allowed me to grow mentally and emotionally. Not having the unconditional support of my family amplified my independence and urge to succeed. While they didn’t know how to support me their unconditional love did not change regardless of the things that were revealed about me.

My looney tunes epiphany elucidated my purpose and how I would change the world like I was always told I would. I was inspired to become a psychiatrist to ensure that no one's forest lost their spark. I will be the first psychiatrist in my family and a first-generation college student. As an Afro- Latina I will help those who look like me as well as low-income families. I will provide them with support and answers to the things they can't understand about themselves so that their pain is no longer dismissed as a luxury they are not entitled to feel.