All my life the world taught me in different ways that you must always be strong. Never show any emotions that deter you from that. When you are sad you must bottle that up inside. Because tears and sadness are not strength. So when I was diagnosed with depression in 8th grade life became a million times harder. Not only because of the mental problems, but because I couldn't allow myself to cry. Everyone shows their emotions in a different way. And mine just happened to be through tears. I couldn't control it, they just came. No matter the circumstance if my body was overwhelmed with sadness or stress I would cry. This was normal and healthy. But I shunned it. I hated myself over it. I wanted to hide who I was. My heart learned to not dwell on myself. So I put off my feelings and focused on others and what they were feeling. I wanted to help others to not have to feel sadness. So I served. I was a servant to others emotions. Not my own but others, I bottled up and hid mine. And worked to show love to others. But my own self never saw love. At night I locked myself in the bathroom and cried in the bathtub. I loathed those nights, but I couldn't let anyone else see me cry. It was weakness and that was not allowed. As the years went on I was so selfless to others but it came so easily because my own body lacked self love. Finally in 11th grade I had had enough. I was in the back of my work crying from stress. My boss came back and found me. I was humiliated no one was supposed to see me cry. But he sat down with me and put his arm around me and asked what was going on. And just like that a dam broke and everything came spilling out. I told him what I had been doing for the past four years. He gave me a hug afterwards and told me that I was in the wrong. Tears are not weakness they are a sign of a big heart. And that big heart of mine needed to show love to its owner. I took the challenge upon myself and began turning some love to me. Now here I am senior year and I love myself. It's not selfish or stuck up to love yourself. It's simply being healthy. I turn out equal amounts of love to others and myself. And I always remember my tears are a sign of my strength because I am stronger than I'll ever understand.