There comes a time in everyone’s life where you have to experience the most gut-wrenching, awful and heartbreaking time of your life, loss. For some it’s expected but for others it comes completely out of the blue. You feel lost. You feel lonely. You feel so extremely empty that you don’t ever think it will get better, but it does. It takes a tremendous amount of time but it gets better, and I know this. It was the year 2015, life was good! Life was good, She was just about to turn 14 and she knew life was about to change. She was about to be in the older class at church and she was thrilled! Her older sister had just left months before to serve a mission for her church and she was so proud! She had the most amazing friends who showed the best support and her family was nothing more than incredible. Everything was good, until it wasn’t. Her other older sister came busting into her room in the fresh hours of the morning, with tear filled eyes she muttered the words that changed the life of the girl and her family, She said grandpa just passed away.

Confused and baffled by what she heard she quickly rose from her bed. She could hear her mom crying on the phone and her dad telling everyone to hurry to the car. They were headed to the hospital. The car ride was dreadful and long. She was so anxious and so scared. Her world was just flipped upside down in just a matter of minutes and she was still so confused. How did this happen? He was so healthy. She knew life was about to change, but it wasn’t supposed to change like this. It wasn’t supposed to go like this, no not now!

The hospital was dark, quite and cold. It was still to early to process what was going on but it didn’t take long to figure it all out. The heartbroken family took the traitorous walk to the third floor where they found all the extended family. She walked into the room to see the most chilling site. She felt as if her heart had been completely ripped out of her body, and it was sitting in the chair next to her. It definitely wasn’t inside her anymore. The greatest feeling of loneliness overcame her body. How was this? Her whole family was sitting right next to her breathing the same very air. The people who loved her the most were right there but she still felt this way, she felt sick to her stomach. How could this be? Life was about to be unyielding and she wasn’t prepared.

The doctors entered the room and allowed the grief shooken family to say their last goodbyes to the lifeless man they loved the most. She still felt so lost. At age 13 you weren’t supposed to feel so much pain and agony. Through all the heartache and pain she knew she had to stay strong. She had a younger brother and younger cousins that looked up to her. She had no other choice but to be there for the younger kids. The day went on and more family rolled in. All the beautiful, bright and colorful flowers filled the house almost as fast as the frozen dinners filled the freezer. The amount of love, comfort and prayers meant the world to this blindsided family.

The days went by faster and the heavy hearts got lighter. The funeral was beautiful! The family sang, laughed and cried together. The feeling of loneliness slowly went away and the normal days that they longed for were finally back. Although the thoughts and memories of grandpa were always in her head and she still missed him so much, she was so glad her life was back in order. She was happy again. Her faith in the church was stronger than iron and she knew everything happened for a reason, even when it was hard to understand.

Months rolled by, twelve to be exact. Just one year ago they buried grandpa. She couldn’t imagine life without him but just some how managed to get out of bed every morning for twelve long months and she was doing just fine. Her favorite past time was going to the movies. The buttery popcorn and milk duds. The ice cold Dr. Pepper and reclinable red chairs. What couldn’t you love about it? This time it didn’t feel right. The day was gloomy and cold and yet again she received the worst possible news. There had been an accident, a boating accident and her uncle was ejected and killed within seconds. The worst part was her brother was there and witnessed his biggest role model get killed. Still to this day the phone call plays in her head. Her brother, her best friend wept on the phone repeatedly saying the same line, “He crashed mom! He’s gone.” There again her mom cried and dad told them to pack their bags and to get in the car. They were headed four hours away to Parker, Arizona where the biggest racing boat competition took place, but most importantly that’s where everything went down. That’s where the family was. It was different this time instead of the lonely sorrowful feeling she felt the year before she felt so much comfort and love. The family was closer than ever and if they had to go through this again, at least they got to go through it together.

This is my life, my hardships and struggles but ultimately MY blessings. I remember crying to my dad in disbelief that night, the “Why me?”. I didn’t understand why God who everyone said loved me would let me suffer. It was one year ago to the hour exactly that we buried my grandfather, and we were standing in the same position ready to start the “ grieving process” over again. I didn’t feel strong enough but I was so wrong. God gave me the privilege to suffer to see the good. The good in people, the good in life and most importantly the good in myself. I saw something in myself that I had never seen before. I had power. Power to uplift and comfort others and the true blessing was I found that power through loss, hardships and fear.

Almost three years have passed since the accident occurred and although some days are harder than others the joyous days always seem to stick out. I don’t remember the milestones after but rather the family Christmas parties and the cookie exchanges. I remember the long Saturday morning serving those who have helped me through the hardships and then going to to Barros Pizza as a family for lunch. It’s not the funeral I remember of my grandparents and uncle, but the memories of Nerf wars and swimming parties. That’s one of the good things about loss, the memories. If I got anything out of losing someone I loved unconditionally was to better myself in my faith and in my relationships. I can’t imagine life any different and “perfect” than it is today. I learned that life can change in a blink of an eye or before the sun rises the next morning. Don’t take life for granted, don’t forget to say “I love you”, and don’t forget to mean it.

Life is hard. You have to experience the worst, hardest and dreadful things but those often turn out to be the most fulfilling and rewarding. Imagine a world where all you felt was happiness, sounds amazing in the long scheme of things but it’s the hardest times in life that makes one so incredibly thankful for the good times. There comes a time in ones life where you have to brave the most heart-wrenching, awful and heartbreaking time of your life, loss. Heaven knows that if you just embrace the sad, Happiness will be just over the mountain.