The day my dog died was equivalent to a human family member dying. The thought of my best friend not being there anymore made me feel like I was a balloon that someone had popped. My family and I knew it was coming, but how could you possibly prepare for this? My dog was no doubt in my mind my best friend. When I had a bad day he was always there with a smile on his face. When I was mad at the world he was still there with the same big smile on his face. All a dog wants is to give love and to receive love, and my dog definitely got that.

Bear was my best friends name. I don’t know how he got it, but it definitely fit him. When I say it fit him, I mean he looked like a bear. He was two times bigger than the average german shepherd, which is pretty uncommon.  From when I was born to thirteen years old, life was filled with happiness. My world could come tumbling down, but at the end of the day I knew I would always have at least him waiting to make everything better. My father would tell me stories about how gentle bear was with me and my brother at a young age. For him being so big, and a german shepherd, it was uncommon for them to be so gentle and aware of little kids. My mom would tell me many stories about how when I first started to walk, he would walk next to me so if I would fall, he would be there to catch me or to stop the crying. This happened multiple times and my dog never got tired of it. My dog was considered a “gentle giant” meaning he was substantial, but would not hurt a fly.

       As I would tug on Bear’s hair, or yank on his tail, he never once got upset or showed it. I have yet to meet another dog like this. This is what made him so special. When I was little, I would see Bear laying down and I would go lay on top of him and fall asleep. He never cared what you’d do to him; he just went with the flow. Naps with him is what I looked forward to everyday, warm and loving.

       The memories I have with him make it hard to live in the same house. Every corner you walk around there is a memory of Bear. Walking into the house and not seeing him running and jumping on you. Sitting in the chair and him not laying on your feet. Being in the living room and him not laying on his back in the middle of the room. These were all things that I was going to have to adapt to. There is a spot on our carpet where it is smoothed down because of how much he use to lay there. 4 years have past and the spot is still there.

    The loss of my dog absolutely had a toll on me, but was especially hard on my father. Bear was my dads dog, which meant if my dad was somewhere, there was bear right behind him. My father never got into a car without his partner in crime with him. My dad use to hold him while he was driving until the day he got too big for his lap. If my father went out to the wood burner, Bear would be right behind him in hot or cold weather. When my father would watch sports games on tv, he would often yell for his team when something good happened. As my father was yelling, there would be Bear barking and howling right along with him. They were like real life best friends cheering on their favorite team. It was always funny to hear upstairs yelling and barking on a Monday night football game. My dad would often fall asleep on his chair from watching sports on tv, and there would be Bear laying on his feet. It seemed he never wanted to leave the warmth of my dad’s feet.

      All of these things slowly came to an end when Bear’s brittle body didn’t work like it use to. Bear’s beloved car rides were taken away by his old hips not being able to jump in the car. Going out to the wood burner at night was taken away by his old skin not being able to handle the cold. This was truly heartbreaking for my father. What would he do without his best friend? As time continued to pass my best friend got worse little by little. As much as my parents wanted to ignore it; they couldn’t.

As April approached us, my best friend was getting closer and closer to this awful day. We all knew it was coming, but we tried to put the impossible idea of not having Bear in our lives anymore in the back of our minds. We quickly realized that we were not  going to be able to do that. We were beginning to see our best friend starting to suffer. Do we be selfish and let him suffer so we don’t have to live without him? We knew we couldn’t do that to a dog who had given us so much love and pleasure for all those years. That would not be fair to him. He was starting to suffer. I remember when we decided to schedule what would turn out to be one of the hardest days of my life. Our only comfort was that we knew it was the best thing we could do for him, even though it was extremely hard on us.

It was a beautiful sunny day. Not a cloud is the sky. I remember this because we were playing outside with Bear, knowing that the vet was on her way. Go figure that Bear was running around like he was a puppy that day also. It made it that much more difficult knowing if we were doing the right thing, but we knew we were. I remember Bear running to me when I saw the vet turn into the driveway. My father and brother had already dug the grave, we were just waiting for one person, and she was now here. Seeing her come into the driveway made my heart sink, knowing that I only had a few more moments left with this incredible dog. The thought of him not knowing what was going on made my heart sink a little further. We had Bear come and lay on his blanket as the vet was getting ready. Tears were already starting to form, not just in my eyes either. Soon, Bear was drifting off to sleep for the last time. Everyone was crying by this time.

On Bear’s final day, I knew that things would never be the same. I had grown up with Bear, he was the only dog I had ever really known. The house would not be the same, playing outside would not be the same. It seemed as though nothing would be “right” again. This was really the first time I had to deal with death. Some people will say that it was just a dog. It was more than that. He was a member of our family, and anyone with pets will know what a difficult time it is when you have to say goodbye. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a pet that is as special as Bear was to me. I will forever be grateful to Bear for loving us and caring for us as I was growing up. I see Bear’s grave and the tree we planted for him everyday, always reminding me of the greatest dog I have ever known.