There are so many sides to me. Many of them what I fabricate for my friends and family. Sometimes I’m the ditzy lovable Asian/cherokee girl who looks totally white that turned punk. Then I’m the total hottie martial artist. Sometimes I’m at a total loss. I’m a lover, I’m a fighter, I’m a canvas for everyone to spill paint on and mold. I lost sight of my true self not to long ago. I had spent so much time watching my crush watching me watching him watching me. I had spent so much time pretending to be someone I’m not, that I gradually forgot to be someone I am. I read a book and there was this quote that totally represented me. So this is my version.
To my sister I am someone to make her look good.
To my parents I am the dependable one.
To my “body guards” I am the little girl who fell down and had her dress stuck in her

underwear that will never grow up.
To my friends I am this happy go lucky misinformed rich girl whose only problem is what country my next meal will come from.
To this country I am a potential threat because I come from a different place and I practice 6 forms of martial arts.
To my home country of Japan, I am an idol to look up to.
To him I’m someone he’s known for years and a great person to flirt with then rip their heart out ignoring her but while watching everything she does.
To me…I am a mystery.
We did a paper last week in English class about forms of literature that were found in the book we’re reading. I chose personification. It’s the term I feel closest to.

Personification: (N) to think of or represent a non-living object or concept as a person. To give human or animal characteristics to an inanimate object.
It always speaks to me. Since my friends all know different “aspects” of me, they try to classify me to the point where I no longer feel human, but a specimen shoved between two glass slides and a microscope. I can tell you this. It’s not a good feeling. I’m either one thing or another in my life. If I try to act like me, the real me, people ask what’s wrong, and I get ostracized. It’s to late to try and take things back. There is no rewind/re-do button in life to take back our mistakes. And I made a big one. We have to try to make up for it risking the chance of totally screwing everything or put up and shut up. I chose the first one. I slowly let people in. in to see the real me. Not all at once though. I still let them think of me as something to be classified, personified.
And to think this all started the first time I read the dictionary definition of personification.