Something was wrong about warm weather in February, even if I was in Florida. My shoes sunk into the moist ground. I regretted wearing heels, but sneakers were not appropriate. While I was waiting for the service to begin, I remembered the first time we met.

I had barely made it home from school through the piles of white fluffy stuff that crowded the streets. I was convinced that I would never feel my feet again. I was greeted by my mother and a stranger. His brilliant blue eyes met mine and we were instantly connected like brother and sister.

He grabbed my little hand and pushed me back into the blizzard to sled down the hill. He told me that he was my older cousin from Florida. I was astonished to hear that Nicholas had never felt snow before.

Our day together was like a dream. Words were not necessary. Smiles and laughter communicated our feelings. When I did speak, he listened as though there were no one else in the world.

Nicholas left the next day, but not before I promised to go to Florida for his graduation.

A month after Nicholas left I was setting the table when the phone rang. My dad's voice shivered when he told me. Nicholas had been driving to school when he was struck by a tractor trailer speeding through an intersection. The other driver was drunk. Nicholas' graduation had been three months away.

The ache was sitting in my mind when the priest began, "Our beloved Nicholas, who is now smiling from his rainbow in Heaven, will be missed ..." The words released the guard over my emotions. There was nothing left of my angelic brother to hold. His life had become dust and memories.

I took off my shoes and rested my feet in the sticky sand. I placed my feet in the cool waves to touch Nicholas's home. My tears added to the miles of ocean. I was engulfed in pain. Happiness was unreachable, but I could touch hope. I knew that when the snow fell over the ocean, Nicholas would smile at me from his rainbow in heaven and pull me forward to a place I had feared to go. c