I woke up just like any other day. I was just an innocent and oblivious lab rat. I was five years old and ready to head off to pre-school. It was early fall and school was fun for us pre-schoolers. The crisp scent of purple play dough filled our day at PlayGarten. I was as excited as a birthday boy right before cake-time and as anxious as George Bush waiting for the results from Florida.

I ate breakfast, my usual bagel, and brushed my teeth. The sparkling taste of toothpaste was my wakeup call in my daily morning routine. I put on my shoes, socks, underwear and shirt and was ready for school. I hugged my mom as if I was never going to see her again and waited at the bus stop. Once I got on the bus I sat down, and I prepared for my adventurous day in Mrs. Rich's kindergarten class. Mrs. Rich always looked like a female lion, beautiful and elegant while keeping control of the pack. On the bus, I sat quietly in my seat, like a stealthy snake, right before its ambush and kill.

I got off the bus, just as innocent and oblivious as before. I walked into my classroom and then it started. The girls were giggling hyenas and the boys were laughing as though a bow-legged, African American, one-handed pirate began a classical dancing duet with a pink haired Michael Jackson tribute band while singing the techno remix of the popular hit song 'Sexy Back', by Justin Timberlake. At that point I realized I forgot to put on my shorts that morning! I was standing there like that oblivious lab rat, in front of my whole class, bare-legged and short less. I was so embarrassed, like when a loud-mouth, big shot wide receiver guarantees a win and shows up on game day with -5 yards and 4 dropped passes. The wide receiver also wet his pants during the process of the game.

I went straight to the office to call my mom on the office phone. I called my mom like a mother T-Rex would call for her offspring and asked her to bring my shorts, which were most likely sitting innocently on my bed, to school. My mom was a maiko shark on the road and got me my shorts in no time. Fazed and fuddled, I was, as I took my lonesome trip to the sole bathroom in the back of the classroom to change. The laughter of my classmates roared. I was so embarrassed; I felt like I was walking the wooden plank on Captain Hook's ship. But at that point, I reached a red light and realized that life is only what you make of it. So I slammed on my brakes, took a deep breath, made a u-turn, and laughed along with them.