September 20. It was a Tuesday. I was sitting in chorus class when I was called down for early dismissal. I was so happy because I thought my mom had gotten me an earlier appointment to get my braces off. When I got down to the office, they told me to go to the counselor. I was confused and I felt like my heart was jumping out of my chest. As I opened the door, I saw my mom with red, puffy eyes, like she had been crying for days. I felt scared, but still very confused.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

She told me to sit down and she grabbed my hand. Tears were trying to escape from her eyes.

“Pawpaw Larry died this morning.”

It felt as if my whole world had come crashing down. I started to cry as it had finally crashed. My mom reached over and I cried into her shoulder until I couldn’t cry anymore. My face now matched hers, with red, puffy eyes and a tear stained face. My mom pulled me up so we could leave. I didn’t look back to Mr. Mitchell (the counselor) as he says goodbye. My heart ached and I just wanted to curl up and cry myself to sleep.

We went to Pawpaw’s house, where my family gathered to mourn. My grandma looked the worse. As I walked in, I ran to her and hugged her as we both wept. I looked and saw that all the older grandchildren (Jake, Corey, Kalee, Sam, and I) were here.

“Where’s Faith and Andy?” I asked.

Mom replied, “They’re still in school. I’m going to get them later.”

I turned to Corey, my cousin from St. Louis, and just hugged her as she cried. I turned to see my older brother had been crying, too. The thing about Jake is that you will never see him cry because he never cries, but this broke him.

So, we sat there, all with tear stained faces and eyes tired from crying. Corey went with my mom to get Faith and Andy. I tried to do something fun with Kalee and Sam to take our minds off of him, but when Faith walked in with tears streaming down her face, I ran to comfort her.

It seemed as if the days dragged on, having no end. I didn’t go to school the rest of that week. I didn’t want to leave the safety and comfort of my bed. My pillow was soaked from my late night tears. I cried as I remember all the good times we had. I thought Pawpaw would out live us all. He was amazing, always smiling and cracking jokes. I never realized how much he was there for me until after he was gone.

Pawpaw used to own a farm in Kansas. He even got us all our own horses. Mom tells me that I always changed my horse’s name. When Pawpaw got weaker, he sold his farm and moved to Webb City to be closer to us.

Pawpaw wasn’t my real grandpa, but he had been a close family friend, so we adopted him into our family. He had been there for everything. He was there for every basketball and football game. He was our biggest fan. Pawpaw never failed to make someone smile.

On the day of the funeral, I got to sing “Amazing Grace” with my Aunt Heidy. I refused to look at anyone, especially my family. When we were done, I took a seat next to Kalee and I let her cry on my shoulder as I tried not to cry.

When the funeral was over, I paid my respects to his family and mine. I looked at Pawpaw’s sleeping face. As a tear slid down my face, I said, “See you soon Pawpaw.”