Dear (insert girl’s name here),


We have known each other for (insert length of time here), and I can no longer hide my feelings for you. Whenever I see you I feel as if (insert unrealistic simile here). Your eyes are as (insert eye-related cliché here), and you voice (insert complimentary verb here) as (insert noun that is associated with good sound here). My love from you stretches to (insert location very far away from your present location here), and I would cross (insert noun that is difficult to cross here) for you. Your hair is as (insert girls hair color here) as a/the (insert noun of the same color as the girls hair here), and your (insert other non-inappropriate body part here) is as (insert adjective relating to the aesthetic appeal) as (insert another unrealistic simile here). My heart (insert heart-related cliché here) whenever I think of you. I know that I am (insert adjective stating inferiority) when compared to you, but I am unable to hide what my heart desires. I want only to (insert non-sexual show of affection here), and even if I am only allowed the honor of beholding the (insert positive adjective here) of your (insert poetic synonym for beauty here) then I would be content. I apologize for bothering you with the feelings of such a (insert adjective/noun pair declaring your staggering inferiority here), but I hope you would have such feelings in your heart as I have in mine.





(insert closing line conveying extreme affection here),







(insert your name here)


*The author of this guide accepts no responsibility for any injury and/or harm that comes from use of this document, nor does the author guarantee that this document is effective in all cases. In using this document the user accepts liability for any at all damages (legal, physical, emotional, spiritual, etc.) resulting from the use of this document. Individual results may very.

SURGEON GENERAL”S WARNING: Repeated use of this document, and/or submitting it to multiple females in a short period of time may result in personal injury, damage to property, general mayhem, death, and other serious health risks.