In the small town where I live, I've become somewhat infamous for driving strange,loud, large eyesores and somehow passing them off as vehicles. My first truck wasan extremely loud 1990 Ford F-350 with straight pipes and a six-inch lift. Afterthat I downsized to a '79 Thunderbird that, due to numerous mechanicalmalfunctions, was left everywhere around town except my house. Once, my T-Birdsat at the corner store for a weekend. That car was a big pile of grief, andthat's when I bought the car I have now.

My current car is still a subjectof controversy, but at least I like it. It's a 1975 Cadillac Sedan DeVille. Ibought it from our mayor, who bought it from a rich old lady in Omaha, Nebraska.It had only 81,000 miles, and the mayor said, "It was only driven twice aweek, to the grocery store on Wednesday and to church on Sunday." The carhad been sitting in his garage for two years and he had only driven it a fewtimes. He gave me a good price because his wife hated it so much; she said it wasbig and ugly and nothing but in the way. Oh well, one man's trash is another'streasure.

My car has many features that modern cars have: power windowsand locks, an electric antenna and cruise control. But it also has some thingsI've never seen, like four cigarette lighters, panoramic view windows, analogclimate control, and separate dials for FM and AM. My Caddy only has one mirrorbecause my rear-view one fell off, and it wasn't made with a passenger sidemirror. It also doesn't have a dome light, instead, it has lights all around thecar.

Overall, my favorite feature is the humongous trunk. My friendAlex said, "You should put a Jacuzzi in it. That would be awesome,baby!"

The hardware of my car includes a 500-cubic inch motor thatgoes from 0-60 in about a year or so. It does, however, have some torque. I couldpull a horse trailer with it if I wanted to. Because the car weighs 5,250 pounds,it gets 10 miles to the gallon, but when people ask me I tell them 10 gallons tothe mile. Its muffler fell off a few weeks ago, but no one seems tonotice.

I believe my car is a testament to wastefulness and extravagance.Thankfully, its lack of ingenuity has made it a beautiful piece of American steeland iron. I love my car, and I will forever.