It was the end of the school day. I was being driven home by my older sister Aamira. This was one of the few things that I really looked forward to. Times have changed, and have gotten really rough. The war has taken a toll on everybody, and happy times were really limited. I noticed my sister was a little loopy. I asked;

“Aamira, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry about me.”

She clearly was not fine, and she looked tired and wasn’t focused. I know she hasn’t been eating the most, but how bad was it really? This was really concerning. Mom has been struggling to get enough food. When dad was here it was barely enough on the table. Now that he is gone, it’s been almost impossible to eat. 

When we got home, my sister was clearly much worse. “Hey sis, are you okay?” I asked. She was starting to get a blank look on her face. “Sis? Hey sis?” She wasn’t responding. “Mom? Mom!” I shouted. My mom rushed downstairs. 

“What? What happened?” Looking at Aamira, she got a concerned look on her face. “Let's get her upstairs.” Struggling to move upstairs, with my mom’s assistance, Aamira slowly stepped up. Mom and I progressed up the stairs until we got to Aamiras room. 

“We’ll let her lay down, and let her rest while we eat.” My mom said, with a slight crack in her voice. 

We went downstairs and split our can of beans, saving a little bit more to Aamira. Mom goes back upstairs to check on Aamira and bring her portion and water. She came down with a shocked look.

“What? What?” She was speechless and I started to understand. Aamira was dead. It took a moment to really sink in. She was half our source of food. We really could not survive. 

Moments later, We heard a bomb go off outside. My mom looked at me grimly, and said, “Pack your bags.” 

The trip to Ethiopia began rough. I was already having a feeling that it would just get worse. Traveling slowly to the river, drinking what little water we had left, then having to rely on contaminated water. It became so bad we resorted to eating leaves. I was emotionally not there, physically broken, and still mourning the loss of my sister. There were some people with us. Two had already died. I felt so tired and lost and basically gave up all will. My life was falling into crumbles in front of me. The walk took days and days, and was terrible. The heat only made it worse. My mom looks at her little map she scraped up enough money for and started to seem confused.

“I don’t know where we are.”

“But haven't we been following the river?” A fellow refugee chimed in.

But in the distance I noticed movement. Human movement? I couldn't tell what it was but as I approached closer I saw many people as dirty and tired as us. Could it have been? “Look, look! There are people!” At that time and moment, the sight of people alone was making us happy.

After meeting and discussing where we were and what we were doing, we joined forces in a common goal. 

With renewed energy, we headed to the white nile, with a goal to find safety. 

Around one week later, we finally made it to the white nile. This should have been a relieving checkpoint for us, but the circumstances didn’t really allow that. First off, we needed a boat. Second off, according to the kind fisherman, (known for transporting refugees out of kindness,) the previous boat had sunk due to overloading. Despite our odds, what else would we have done? We have gone through much, and so the entire group of refugees decided to hop on the boat. 

Worry was evident amongst the refugees. Almost all lost a family member, and morale was low. 

“What if we die in the camp?” One worried refugee asked. This sparked a wave of panic among the people. More questions popped up. 

“Is this terrible trip worth it?”

“Why are we here?”

“We were better off back where we were!”

My mother and I were both talking, speculating in a corner of the boat. After all this, I felt as if I lost hope already, and didn’t really know why life was still going on. My mother, on the other hand, was wishing, hoping, and praying for a safe trip,  food and safety at the end. I wondered how she could have that much hope. The whole group, calmed down at this point, were all on the same page. I hope we become safe. 

Around a day and a half later, we could see Ethiopia. Tears of happiness rolled down many of the refugees' faces. My own mother was crying with relief. 

Getting settled in the camp was almost as reliving as receiving our first bites of food. Not knowing what would happen next, but knowing that I got that far encouraged me to finally have hope again. Something I have really missed.