Alcohol, a friend? YEA RIGHT!

As my life sat to quickly disappear, I opened my eyes so that I could keep going; to influence the opinions of others. This way they do not lose their lives like I was just seconds away from doing with my own.

If you are a twenty one year old adult or older, the legal drinking limit is a .04.
One out of every six families is corrupted by an alcoholic. The alcoholic normally abused alcohol while under the age of 18.

I wake up in the morning only to see the look of disappointment and disgust in the mirror. I take a quick five to ten minute shower. In the shower I must use baby shampoo and conditioner. Boy does it make my hair look dead. I also use the ever so itchy bar soap. Oh well, as long as I do not get in trouble right? I get out and dry myself off quickly, first my ankle though. Then I go into my room, blow dry my hair, and get dressed. Checking the ingredients on my make-up is so complicated with all the big words and what not. I finally get to put on my make up and do my hair. Curls make my hair look a little less dead, but they are missing volume because I cannot use hair spray. When will 6:30 come? I want to leave this dreaded house already! I want to go to school! 6:30 is here, thank god! School kids may make fun of me, and yes I have lost my reputation, but it is worth it to go to school. After all I get to get out of my stinking house! School stunk again but I wish I could stay. Being home by 3:00 is easier than I thought. Of course I always wait until the last minute to approach my house. Homework, I get all of it done now since I can not go anywhere. Along with cleaning too. My house has never looked so clean! What to do what to do? I wish I could take a bath so I can actually shave my legs, but no, I am not allowed. I could clean some more, but there is nothing to clean. All that is left to do is watch the nothing that is on TV. and sleep. I think I will sleep, and wait for morning to come again. I suppose you are wondering why my life is being deprived of freedom right now? Maybe even wondering if yours will become this way. No hairspray, make-up, or friends. Not being able to shave and having such a crappy curfew. It can and will happen if you let it. Read on, if you want to hear how to make it happen.

Some teenage kids are little partiers, I should know; I used to be one. Did you know that while you are out partying you are playing a game of Russian roulette if you are drinking. I know, I know, you don’t believe me. Don’t worry about it, I USED to think the same way until my whole life changed from it.

It was just another regular night on November 17, one thing was different though. There was this guy; like a big brother. I thought he would never let anything bad happen to me, I was wrong. We drank together all of the time, nothing bad had ever happened. He wanted to drink again and I figured it would be ok since we hadn’t drank together for about a month. My mom wouldn’t find out anyways right? I mean, what could a few shots do to me, even if one shot meant three, I would be ok, right? Unfortunately I was wrong again. My mother had found out I was drinking the worst way possible. Yummy yummy, raspberry vodka, it was all I could think. How stupid I was to do this to my mother. Coming up with a lie was the easiest part, I lied all the time to get my way. “Hey mom, it is me. do you think it would be ok for me to go to youth group tonight? I would be home in between 8:30 and 9:00.” Silly mother, she just replied with a simple, “Yes baby that is fine with me.” That was that, the worst decision I have made in my whole life! Drinking straight from the bottle was tradition to us, we only chased occasionally with some coke. Memories flood my brain with the fact that I was thinking to myself what would happen if my mother found out. Blankness, darkness, and fright are all I felt. Not being able to move or see anything scared me, at least I could feel and hear still. Feeling the hard smacks to the face, and torturing pinches and pokes being lunged at me. The worst part though. Was hearing the agony in my mother’s voice as she screamed at me. “BABY GIRL! TELL MOMMY WHAT YOU TOOK! JUST STAY WITH ME SWEETY! DON’T LEAVE ME!” Nothing again. All of a sudden a huge bright light starred me in the eyes, I could not even fathom the fact that I was dying but I knew it was true. All I could think of doing to stop myself from dying was to kick and scream and fight for my life. Thank God my mother found me past out in this guys house other wise I do not even begin to wonder if I could fight back. Of course I was under the impression I was dying, after all I did have a blood alcohol level of .236, which is four and one half times over the legal limit for an adult. Seriously imagine being so drunk that you almost died and made your mom, your own mom, sit there and watch you dying and screaming, “MOM! MOMMY! I AM SORRY MOM! PLEASE DON’T HATE ME! MOOOOOM! WHERE ARE YOU MOM!? MOOOM!” Really, how would it make you feel? How would it make you feel if, while you were fighting for her, you hit her in the face knockering her glasses across the room? Better yet, how would you feel not knowing what happened to you during the time you blacked out? Especially if you were missing your shirts and your bra? Would you not be scared to the point of pure insanity? Everyday, because I decided to get drunk, I watch the pure hell I put my family through, reflect back at me through the eyes of the ones I love. Due to the fact of my stupid decision, I cannot be a “normal” teenage girl.

I get mocked daily from the kids at my school. I have the nick name anklette from a couple of people right now. Other wise I have nicknames such as liqu, liquor, alky, stupid, drunk, stupid drunk, s***, wh**e, and so many other things. It embarrasses me to death. I have lost many friends because they think I am a bad kid. The whole school thinks that the only reason I got drunk was to “seduce” the guy I was with. My reputation has gone down the drain since that night. I have maybe two true friends that stuck by me; otherwise, all I have is my family. No friends? Yea, you are right, it does suck.

I am currently on a device called a SCRAM UNIT. This unit is just like the ankle monitors the “bad guys” where only it tests my sweat for alcohol. There is also a GPS programmed into the bracelet so I can not go any where that I am not supposed to. Showers are all I am permitted to clean myself. Washing my face, taking a bath, sitting in a hot tub, all of it is off limits. When I do take a shower, I have to use baby shampoo and condition, which kills my hair, bar soap is the only soap that does not have some type of alcohol in it, but that makes me break out. Imagine, not being able to use any product that has an ingredient in that ends with an “ol”; trust me, almost every product a girl uses has alcohol in it. This includes hair products, make up, shaving cream, soap, face wash, deodorant, nail polish, nail polish remover, drinks, food, gum, tooth paste, mouth wash, lotion, body butter, perfume, laundry soap/detergent, piercing cleansers, and lip gloss. Plus, let’s say that there is someone, like my boy friend, that just ate or drank something with alcohol, and he took a drink of my soda, I could not drink it, I could not kiss him either. My point is, I am being deprived of my teenage girlism because I made a stupid decision to drink, and now I can not live the life I want. Wouldn’t you go crazy if you lost all of these things? I mean seriously people, no dates, no good hygiene; you have to watch everything you do. Do you really want that for your self? Oh well, who am I to make decisions for you. Your future is up to you, I can only hope that you don’t take the path that I did. Just remember my story, how it affected my life, how it affected my family, and how it effected my reputation.