In the foul year of our Lord, August 7 2001, movie theatres across the nation were exposed to the cinematic masterpiece “Osmosis Jones” which is not a missing Indiana Jones movie. It’s about the adventures of the titular Osmosis Jones (played by Chris Rock), a loose cannon white blood cell cop in the body, and Drix (played by David Hyde Pierce), a cold pill sent in as Jones’s new partner. It’s up to them to defeat a virus named Thrax (played by Laurence Fishburne) who wants to kill Frank (played by Bill Murray) who I’m pretty sure only did this because Wes Anderson wasn’t doing a movie at this time. Oh and by the way, Frank gets Thrax by eating a hard boiled egg that was in a chimps mouth, then the shit encrusted floor of its cage. That man clearly had a death wish. There was also a cartoon but we don’t talk about that. Now Jones is the protagonist, we are with him throughout the duration of the movie but here’s the thing… he doesn’t do anything till like the last 5 minutes. It’s mostly just people getting mad at him and him being either sad or snarky. He is what’s called a “passive protagonist” meaning that things happen to him and he just reacts to it. He’s got no real agency in the movie he just kinda… does stuff till the scene is over. Hell, the pill does more than him because he can, and does, literally fix any problem the come across. Drix has this mega man arm that he can put other little pills into and shoot it out. So there dear readers is why Osmosis Jones has a terrible protagonist who has no character arc whatsoever.