"Just A Phase" | Teen Ink

"Just A Phase"

January 10, 2015
By cosmiccheyenne BRONZE, Escondido, California
cosmiccheyenne BRONZE, Escondido, California
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

“She’s just a moody teenage girl. They’re all this way around this age. She’ll get over it. It’s just a phase.” When was the last time you heard one of these phrases? If you’re a young lady from the ages of 12 to 18, chances are, you’ve heard it recently - maybe even more than once. According to NEDA, over one half of teenage girls admit to skipping meals, vomiting, or using an unhealthy alternative to reach a desirable weight, and when asked, 42% of girls in grades 1-3 want to be thinner. Healthline claims that the third leading cause of death in young adults is suicide, and females are more likely to attempt suicide than males. 70% of girls ages 13 to 19 who self harm do so by cutting, and approximately 1 in every 200 girls living in the United States testify to cutting regularly (teenhelp.com). With these shocking statistics, I think it’s about time we ask ourselves; is this really just a phase?

Many parents who have reached their limit of understanding write off real mental illness as immaturity in general, or a failure to properly manage mood swings - thinking that temperance of mood naturally develops with age. Treating their children like a curator would treat a developing wine, these parents wait patiently for their kids to “age to perfection”. Unfortunately, adolescents aren’t rotting grape juice, and should not be regarded as such.

Why do parents of Generation Y seem to think this way? Because this is the way that many of their own parents seemed to think. Growing up, many Baby Boomers grew accustomed to the belief that crying is considered a sign of weakness; if you had a problem, you didn’t talk to mom or pop - you would rather keep that problem to yourself. Now, although I can’t speak for the entire generation, I can speak for a good portion of it when I say that this silence was based on the fear of being scorned or punished physically. On the upside, many laws have been made since the 50s, 60s, and 70s that better protect children from physical abuse. However, many parents who were victims of severe physical and emotional abuse remain stuck in this frame of mind, even with so many discoveries in the past twenty years that prove depression and anxiety in teenagers - especially young girls - is a real issue.

In some cases, parents’ lack of understanding can be a contributing factor as to why our teenage girls are experiencing these issues, but we cannot place the blame on parents alone. The media plays a huge role in manipulating the minds of adolescents and adults alike. The truth of the matter is that we live in a competitive, commercialized culture - everyone is hustling to be the brightest and the best. It’s all about the way that you look, and it has to be this way in order for large companies to sell their products. Beginning at a young age, girls are taught by the advertisements they see on the television and the pictures they look at in the magazines that skinny is beautiful. By the age of 11, many girls begin to wear makeup to cover what they have been conditioned to believe are imperfections. With photoshop and technology advancing, expectations for these girls continue to skyrocket to heights that will never be achievable. This leads to disappointment, low self esteem, and the failure to believe that they posses any worth as individuals.

It is evident that many of these problems can not and will not be solved overnight. It is going to take a serious change in thinking in order to clean up the mess that has been made. Even if we make an effort to clean up, we have to recognize that there is no such thing as undoing what has already been done. The next step is to accept the damage, and continue to assess the situation to further understand what can be done to help these young ladies of our generation. Seeking professional help from a therapist is an option that has proven to be beneficial to many adolescents struggling with one or more of these disorders. It is important that their voices are heard. Therapy can help teens learn more efficent coping mechanisms and build the resilience they need to deal with their illness and the world around them. For some adolescents, depression or anxiety can be a result of a chemical imbalance in the brain, which can be controlled by medication a psychiatrist can prescribe. Making sure teenagers are getting a healthy and balanced diet with the right amount of exercise daily is important to take into account as well.

Whatever may happen in the years to come, it is imperative for us to remember that regardless of age, the lives and the voices of these young women matter. Depression, anxiety, eating disorders and self destruction are valid ailments - more than “just a phase”.

https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/get-facts-eating-disorders
http://www.healthline.com/health/depression/teenage-depression


The author's comments:

My mother has told me my therapist's diagnosis of depression and anxiety is an exaggeration, and I use the "false diagnosis" as "an excuse to get out of doing work" when it just so happens that I always turn homework in, get good grades in school and stay out of trouble in general. My mental illnesses are real. I struggle day-to-day and it infuriates me that I am not the only teenage girl that experiences this degradation. 
I hope my article will englighten readers who may not be able to relate, and help validate those who can. You are important -  your feelings matter; your story matters


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