I had been lying to myself all this while, convincing myself that someone else was always interfering and deciding in my life. Trust me, that was nonsense. And I realized it lately.

I am writing after a long time. The reason being the same nonsense. I was convinced that I couldn't write, or even think properly when I was with too many people around. And you know what? I am writing this post sitting amidst three kids running around, relatives discussing their lives, cooking and as usual cursing their existence all through the while. Wanna know how? Read on.

We all have that habit of misunderstanding life. Misunderstanding the way things are working. Its quite an easy thing; this misunderstanding. Because it requires lesser usage of our brain and hence we could save the energy required for later usage. The latter one being the cries.

My college started a week back and thankfully we had an orientation class before we actually got into our studies. And like they say in romantic stories, ‘I met her there’. Please do remember this, I am 18 year old girl writing this and its not a love story.

The most influential person I have ever met. Dr. Beena Joab ; let me put it the way she would love to hear it. A crazy dreamer turned awesome teacher, charismatic singer and a great woman. And I would like to thank her in making me do a confession to myself.

When I took up science stream in ISC I was highly convinced that it would be my opportunity to learn to the best level I could. In a way it is true. I have put in some 900+ pages more information regarding all the subjects into my brain, which otherwise I wouldn’t have had to.

It was a totally different time of my life. All the fights and cries in my 10th standard vanished into thin air and I was a totally free, hopeful and enthusiastic person. And as usual, this lead to heavily packed dreams. Inspired by my best friend brother, a student of the IIT, and that awesome fascination to be an Einstein of the millennium, I wanted to get into IISc. I had fought many a valiant fights with my mom on the context of studying in Banglore; which obviously she won and I threw those dreams into dustbin. End of chapter one in college selection.

The second option I had was to do engineering. Always remember people, your second chances are never sweet. I never had an engineering brain but I did try to prepare for the JEE and in vain, I just had to play with my mouse during the exam. That was chapter two.

And today, having accepted my third option to do a BSc, I am writing this post ( its typing I know! ) not to share with you that I regret on being served my third option. I wanna say that I AM REALLY HAPPY ABOUT IT.

As anyone would be, I too was furious with my mom for not letting me do what I wanted. But the truth is I was made to be this ‘one of a kind person’. Let me explain. I knew very honestly that even if I was put into a situation far worse, I would rise and lead. But I convinced myself, telling me that only a national institute degree would take me where I wanted to be. It certainly would have helped considerably. But it could never have brought me to this lovely woman I met here in my college. No one could have taken me out of my prejudices like her. She tore apart those prejudices, burned them and flushed them out. I wanna thank you ma’am.

Its been long I know, but this is the last bit I wanna share. Never ever lie to yourself that only certain specific factors can bring you happiness, nor good luck. Its in you. Whatever you are destined for, whatever life has in store for you is a big surprise. And that is the very essence of life. If you keep lying to yourself that your happiness and successes are bound to those crazy dreams, that will certainly become true. So stop lying. Silence the pessimist ruining your beautiful life.

And to that, let me add this too.

All your crazy ideas and dreams, no matter who says no, will come true. Just learn the art of waiting. If its meant to be yours, it will come to you. Like I know that I will be the ‘Mother of Post-Modern Physics.’:)



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