Social Anxiety | Teen Ink

Social Anxiety

June 28, 2014
By I_love_chicken BRONZE, Bay City, Michigan
I_love_chicken BRONZE, Bay City, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I woke up this morning feeling sick to my stomach. Why? Well, it’s because I have to go to school. I get ready and make sure I won’t stand out in any way. Then I get into my mom's car. I would ride the bus but my house is towards the end so I have to sit with somebody. That involves talking. I listen to music until I get to school. I get out of the car and walk inside the building. Then I go into the gymnasium where we all meet before class starts. My palms sweating and my heart beat quicken. It seems like everybody watching my every move. There judging me. Why did I wear this outfit? I look so stupid. My hair is probably so messy. This is so embarrassing. That’s what always runs through my mind. I quickly go to wear my friend is. The only person I can really talk to. We talk until the bell rings. Then we all push out into the hall. I get my things and go to class. I feel like everybody is looking at me. I sit down. Later on in my History class we have an essay we have to present. He randomly picks. I pray and hope that he won’t choose me. My palms are so sweaty. I’m so hot. I have hard time breathing. Then he chooses me. I go up really stiff. I start to shake. Everybody stares at me. I feel like I’m about to faint. I feel like I’m going to cry. Everybody is waiting. I start to talk. Then I hear ‘speak up’ and ‘I can’t hear you’. I try to speak up but it doesn’t help. I read it very quietly. I stutter a lot. I feel like my life is over. I stop in the middle and sit down. My breathing gets worse. I almost cry. I’m shaking really badly. I get extremely hot. Life is officially over. At lunch I get in line and get my food. I sit with my usually friend because I have a really hard time making new friends. We talk. I eat my food very cautiously. I feel everybody can hear me chew. After that I use the restroom. I don’t use the one near the lunchroom. I go to the one wear there isn’t much people. I check for any other people in there. If there aren’t any I go in and use the restroom. If someone comes in I hold it in and wait. I look in the mirror and check everything and if anything is out of place I freak out. I worry about it all day. When I get home all I do is think about all the stupid things I did at school. That's every school day.


The author's comments:
Its something I deal with everyday and I wanted to post my view of the day.

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