Let me tell you about that student; you know, the one always smiling – or was it smirking – while taking a nightmare of a history test. And while the same test was handed back, the smirk wiped clean off their face, replaced by an expression of horror rivaling the painting of The Scream. In a situation like this, I would proceed to comfort my stupefied classmate. “Uhh, it’s okay, it’s just one test of many.” That student would proceed to make a great show of moaning and before finally uncovering their paper. My eyes popped out of their sockets. “B-bu-but you got an 98!” I stuttered. “Ugh,” they replied, “what did I do wrong?” I swallowed, smiled – actually it was more like a grimace – and promptly proceeded to burn a hole through the aforementioned student with my glare. After all, I only scored 85 on that that test, and was happy. Well, I suppose being I’m too harsh… after all, I myself am guilty of being ‘that student’ at one point. The person who thinks that perfection in all things is the holy grail. But the grail is unobtainable in reality, and before claiming that perfection is attainable, please read this article carefully.

The New Oxford American Dictionary describes being ‘perfect’ as having all desirable elements, free from any flaw or defect. Is it really possible for someone to be free of all flaws, without a weakness, not one deficiency? Of course not, yet our fragile human minds yearn to conclude that perfection is an achievable and maintainable attribute. In this iGeneration, you only have to click one link before being bombarded with advertisements of products that claim to make you smarter, prettier, slimmer – helping you through refinement. We strive to embody perfection without realizing the impossibility of this aim, often without even being aware of the consequences for playing perfectionism’s cruel game.
A notion to ponder before my main contentions – try looking at this issue from a scientific dimension. An element about our strivings for perfection I find extraordinary is that many have never thought about this perplexing query: what issue of perfection never really was a question? The human genome responsible for our body and our brain contains exactly three mistakes. Isn’t that insane? In each chromosome of winding DNA, in each nucleus, in every single cell, three mistakes? Well, you self-declared perfectionists with egotism unending, does that make you feel a little bit less condescending?

In our quest for perfection, which is supposedly a good thing, we manage to feel dismayed… bemoaning our failures and neglecting to appreciate our defining traits. We juxtapose our physical features with all the ‘ideal’ qualities, feeling despondent when our reflection in the mirror fails to equal airbrushed anomalies. The golden ratio of beauty, coined by ancient Greeks, sets the “perfect” proportions at 1:1.6; yet whose face width and length actually abides by this? Is the ratio really so perfect if it fails to be useful even when applied to people we consider beautiful? It’s also a well-known claim that the more symmetrical your face is, the more attractive you seem. Yet no face can ever be perfectly symmetrical – not coded by our genes. That’s why advertisements are edited and why people use cosmetics; to conceal blemishes that break up the symmetry, that are inevitable due to genetics.

As students, we shamelessly focus on our inadequacies and erroneously believe that perfectionist behavior leads to succeeding, unaware that it fosters dissatisfaction and is achievement-impeding. To others, we crave to be as viewed the perfect friend, perfect daughter, perfect student – the perfect people-pleaser and obliger– and as I type out these words, there is a part of me that wishes to be recognized by readers as the perfect article-writer. But is perfection even possible, or has the word’s very meaning strayed, giving false expectations, then leaving us dismayed?
Jennifer Page, a counselor at Harvard, notes that students often associate their success with their perfectionistic ardor. So why is this “perfectionism” such a detrimental mannerism? After all, it only makes sense that the more perfect you try to be, the higher your chances are of thriving in this overcompetitive society. However, Page clarifies that making this association is a mistake, and that “perfectionists may be no more successful than their equally motivated but less perfectionistic classmates”. Unfortunately, striving for perfection is commonly viewed as desirable. As necessary for achievement, while failure is considered ireful.

A fact that innumerable people are oblivious to is that perfectionism actually interferes with success. Psychologists and professors Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett have concluded after 20 years of research, no less, that perfectionism correlates with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, mental health problems, and increased stress. It is not uncommon for perfectionists to struggle with procrastination, low productivity, self-criticism, and negativity, as they set lofty goals and standards for themselves, with room for failure so negligible, goals so impractical that the odds of achieving them are minimal. Their personal satisfaction digresses; even when they do succeed, they can’t appreciate their successes. Take this conversation I’ve often overheard in hallways on report card day – like a popular yet terrible song on replay:

“ Um, a 3.95 GPA is great, not perfect; no need to be upset though…”

“Uh, that’s my point it’s, like, not a perfect 4.0!”

You to decide whether you want to kick, slap, or punch them in response to that.

Perfectionism extends beyond the boundaries of schools and expectations of tiger mothers, seeping into our personal relationships with others. Certain perfectionists want to be viewed as faultless – as the daughter that never disappoints or friend that says yes to all favors. It’s excellent to wish do well and receive recognition, but not to a point where being viewed as flawless becomes an obsession. Where you’re so concerned about a perfect reputation that maintaining it facilities the relationship’s ruination. Sherry Pagoto, a researcher and psychologist, states that effects of these habits result in self-neglect, resentment, stress, and a reduced ability to enjoy activities and relationships – the very relationships that perfectionists hoped to improve initially.

Perfectionists behold; your habits aren’t helping you - they’re doing the opposite - hard to believe but its true. Setting achievable goals is disparate from attempting to be perfect, in every single facet.

Why should we go under the knife because we dislike a certain feature about ourselves? Spend a fortune to look more like someone else? Why do we endure all that anxiousness, hair pulling, and turning in work a week late to submit the ‘more perfect’ essay a week past its due date? Is it better to give others the impression of a perfect daughter, friend, or girlfriend if, we resent the moments put into the relationship in the end?
As the sometimes overquoted saying goes: “Reach for the moon; even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars”. Yes, reach for the moon but please, for your own sanity, think twice before setting your sights on a mythical galaxy.