July, 21, 1999, I was six years old and an only chilled. Little did I know that that was the day my life was going to change forever.

About 9 months ago everything was fine. I was still going to school mom working in a tall building all the way at the top and my dad working part time painting a church thing. The day my mom was walking around the house I remember wanting to tell her about my new class and how I get alone with so many people.


My dad walks into the room my mom jumps, “oh my god”
“What? What’s going on?”
“Were pregnant”
“What?”
“Yah”
“Yes” what in the world is that? Oh I know that’s when the bird comes and brings the baby to your house got it.


I remember my mom looking at me she was laying in a bed, the bed that the men in white had put her in. she looked sad, there was a whiteness in her eyes. She looked like a zombie from the movie last week or she just looked dead. But with her eyes open. It was hard to talk to her. She was asleep most of the time. I really didn’t get to see her a lot but when I did I sat next to her holding her hand she would look at me and say “everything will be ok soon don’t worry.” Then she would look away. I couldn’t stop staring at her tummy. It looked like someone put a bunch of air in her and make up so that way it just looked like she was fat.


I wanted to say something but I didn’t know what to say to someone who was dead or at least looked like it. So finally I talked about my day and who grandpa and grandma look me to the beach. She looked at me and closed her eyes. I was telling her everything I had done wrong in the past. It was like she was dying and I wanted her to know that I was sorry and that I wanted her to know that it was me and not anyone else.


Hours later I wake up to me mom screaming. “Here it comes.”
“Oh god.”
“Push” I sit up so fast. What’s going on? Here what comes? Push what? I didn’t know what to do minutes later I see my mom and dad with a baby in there hands. “Here’s your new baby brother” I looked at me. Everything was quite for a few seconds. “Elden.” He puts the little baby boy in my arms wow my life is going to change forever.


A few weeks later my mom still in a bad mood and getting on sleep. My mom and dad pay no attention to me or what’s going on in my life. Wow I feel so alone. Like no one cares. For all I know ant day I will end up like Annie the orphan. Alone on the cold streets. The feeling that I just cant deal with. It’s crazy. I need someone.


It was a Saturday like every Saturday 11:00 am and mom and dad still sleeping. I remember putting action figures and hot wheels on top of the ceiling fan. “ready…go” he would shout, I truth on the fan as fast as it would go and we watched the cars and toys fly around the room. We’d fall back laughing at were all the toys had landed.


When he was really little and he fell asleep next to the big pillow on the floor I would go and lay down next to him, waching him suck on his binkky wrapped up in the blue winne the pooh blanket. He was cute and quite. I would lay next to him and play with his hair and touch his skin. I still sometimes wish that I was a better sister to him because we fought a lot but in the end we both know that were going to be there for each other and that we would always have each others backs.



He is the little boy that drives me crazy and he always will. But in the end I will always love him in the end. Being or getting that feeling that in not loved does not happen anymore, I guess I just needed to grow up and see that it was not that they down love me but that they needed to give him so much and he is so little that he cant do it all on his own. But I know one person who will always love me and that’s my little bro.


Looking back now I see that in glad my brother came into my life. I don’t know what I would of have done with out him he had thought me so much. And I would of never learned and gone thought what I did if I didn’t have my little brother.

A while ago I told my brother that I was moving out I had never seen anyone so sad about me going. The tears just pilled up in his little baby blue eyes. He ran and hugged me and with his little squeaky mouse voice I could here him say “I don’t want you to go” he looks up at me with his puppy dog eyes. I held him tight tighter then I ever thought that I could without hurting him. “I will come back and see you when I can” I said as I felt like I was going to cry because I knew that, that would not be so much. I felt a tear come down my cheek and I closed my eyes and let them flow down.
“Promise?”
“Promise!” I knew at that moment I would always miss my brother. And that a part of me didn’t want to go and a nothing part of me wanted to take my little brother with me but I know that couldn’t and I knew that my mom and dad would miss him as much as I will.