Never thought I’d have to be scared to go to school.

Two months into this year and we have already had twenty-nine school shootings.

When is enough, enough?

I wake up grumbling that I don’t want to go to school, not because I’m lazy, but because I’m scared that this lockdown drill will be the one that isn’t just a drill. 

I think about how I could be having the best day one second, then the next I’m huddled in a corner with kids I have known since elementary school, grasping a textbook hoping it’s thick enough to stop the bullet.

And when I tell you teachers don’t get paid enough, it’s because I see them barricading the door and standing around the corner holding a bat in hopes to slow down the possible intruder. 

There is nothing more terrifying than hearing a teacher tell you, “if a lockdown is called and you are outside, just run.”

It’s not fair that everytime there is a lockdown I feel the need to text my best friend “I love you” because I can practically hear the gunshots down the halls.

And of course we all want to think it’s only something that happens on the news, but then it happens to you. 

Kids are dying, teachers are taking the bullets. 

When will the people who can change things care enough to put a stop to the terrors that are ripping through society. 

Don’t they realize there are six year olds going to school and the last thing they see is a gun pointed at their face. 

It isn’t just a story on the news anymore, and it’s not something that can just be fixed.

And one day I’ll have to send my kids to school hoping they come back home. 

For goodness sakes, there are bullet-proof backpacks for kids now, if that isn’t a sign that something needs to change, I don’t know what is. 

I never thought I’d have to be afraid to go to school.